


Let Me Show You

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Insecure Phil, Insecurity, M/M, Phanfiction, Pining, Reality, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-15 19:29:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11237658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Phil has a secret. He doesn't know how to kiss.He kissed a few girls when he was younger, but they never seemed impressed and it made him feel insecure to the point of avoiding relationships because he was embarrassed.When Dan learns of his friend's insecurity what will he do to help?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying out something new so I can get chapters out a bit quicker, and I'm editing along the way ONLY, not going back over to comb through for mistakes. I generally only find a few if any, so let me know in the comments if there are errors you found, and if you like this style of more freeform writing, or if you'd prefer me to go back to my normal style and edit it a bit more :P :)
> 
> Thank you <3

Dan sipped his drink slowly, surveying the bar. He couldn't believe he and Phil had allowed Louise to drag them out here with her and Zoe. 

It wasn't that he was having an  _awful_ time, he'd just be much happier at home in his bed watching anime or scrolling through tumblr. He sighed, laughing a bit to himself as he leaned against the bar, looking for where his friends had ended up. 

He saw Louise and Zoe dancing almost immediately, drinks in hands and smiles on their faces as they rocked back and forth in the middle of the floor. His eyes continued to sweep along the room until his gaze rested on Phil.

Dan's eyebrows raised in amusement. Phil was actually talking to a guy at the bar, and by the way his friend's face was bright red and the man was leaning in slightly, Dan could tell they were flirting. 

 _Good for him._ Dan thought.  _He needs some kind of romance in his life._ Dan didn't know the extents of his friend's love life, but he knew it was minimal, if at all existent. 

He caught Phil's eye after a second and gave him wiggly eyebrows, to which Phil blushed and returned to his conversation. Dan smiled into his drink, because he loved making Phil embarrassed, and he was happy that his friend was out and talking to a guy. Maybe Louise had been onto something with her idea of actually leaving the house. 

Dan continued to lean against the bar, sipping his drink and observing. He did like people watching, and so long as no one tried to come talk to him the night would be bearable enough. A few girls did approach him, but he brushed them off politely and quickly. He didn't like meeting people at bars, because nine times out of ten they were only looking for a hook up. 

Dan had had his fair share of hookups in his life, but it just wasn't what he was looking for now. He just wasn't all that interested right now, and anyways, he and Phil's careers were at a high and he didn't have time for a relationship. He was content being single right now, and just enjoying watching the people in the bar make fools of themselves.

He kept tabs on Phil throughout the night, who stayed at the bar, giggling with the attractive dark haired man opposite him. Dan eventually saw the man stand up and take one of Phil's hands in his, making Phil blush, and leaning in, Dan presumed to ask a question. He could tell that the man had just asked Phil out, and Dan grinned, excited for Phil, before his grin dropped into an expression of confusion.

Phil's smile soared, excitement taking over his face, but then it quickly twisted into an expression of removal, pulling his hand back and murmuring a small 'sorry' that Dan could read on his lips. The man looked a bit dejected but still smiled, patting Phil on the shoulder and bidding him farewell before wandering out of the bar. 

Dan made his way to Phil, almost angry with his friend for passing up the opportunity. 

"Phil! What was that?" Dan asked, but Phil just shrugged him off, shoulders slumped. 

"Nothing, I want to go home." His friend said a bit shortly, and Dan's eyebrows raised. 

"Um... okay just a sec let me tell Louise and Zoe we're leaving." Phil nodded with his hands in his pockets, and Dan squeezed through the crowd, tapping Louise on the shoulder and shouting over the music. After three tries she understood him and gave him a look that said ' _I'm disappointed in you two but I didn't expect anything less_ ', than sighed and laughed, wishing Dan a good night. 

He made his way back to Phil and put a hand on his friend's back to keep them from getting separated, making their way out of the bar. 

"Whew I can actually hear myself think again!" Dan exclaimed, smiling as he breathed in the cool night air, a stark contrast to the sweaty and humid air from inside.

"Yeah. Let's go home." Phil said, and Dan frowned again, but hailed them a taxi and soon they were home. Dan allowed for silence the whole way, thinking Phil was deciding how to explain his sudden bad mood to Dan, but when Phil quickly brushed his teeth and went to his room, Dan realized his friend had no intention of explaining himself.

Dan walked up to the door, still concerned, and knocked lightly.

"I'm going to sleep." Phil mumbled, and Dan sighed.

"Can I please come in?" he asked, and he heard Phil roll over and click on a light.

"Fine." came the response after a few moments' silence, and Dan lightly pushed the door open, entering the room and sitting on the edge of Phil's bed. 

"Hey." he said quietly, not sure of what he was walking in to. 

"Hey." Phil responded, not looking at Dan.

"What happened back there?" Dan asked, trying to keep his tone non-judgemental. "You two seemed to be really hitting it off, why did you turn him down like that?" 

"I don't know... just didn't like him like that." Phil muttered, and Dan sighed.

"We both know that's a lie. I saw your face, you did like him. So why'd you reject him?" Dan continued, and Phil let out a long breath.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't!" Phil snapped, finally looking at Dan who shifted backwards in surprise, eyes opening wide. "Sorry." Phil mumbled, shrinking back against the headboard. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Phil... are you okay?" Dan asked, wanting to respect his friend's wishes, but also still concerned about him.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine, I just... I don't date people, okay?"

"Not at all?" Dan asked, surprised, because while he knew Phil didn't have an  _extremely_ active love life, he assumed he at least had something.

"No."

"For how long?" Dan whispered, hoping he wasn't prying too much.

"I don't know. Like secondary school or something." Dan's eyes opened even wider, because that had to mean Phil hadn't dated since half his life ago! 

"Phil..."

"I don't want to talk about it." Phil repeated, and Dan sighed.

"Okay. Just... I'm always here if you need to talk, okay?" Dan reminded him, rubbing Phil's calf gently as he stood up.

"Yeah. Thanks." Phil mumbled, and Dan left the room. 

Had Phil really not dated anyone since secondary school? That was so long ago... How? And why? Dan couldn't think of any feasible answer to the question, so he simply brushed his teeth and headed to bed, hoping that Phil would change his mind and tell Dan at some point. 

 

* * *

 

 

When Dan entered the lounge in the morning, he saw Phil slowly eating cereal, staring at his phone as he scrolled. His friend looked sad and conflicted, and Dan frowned, unhappy that Phil was still feeling down.

"What is it?" He asked as he entered, and Phil looked up in surprise, turning his phone off quickly and throwing it down on the couch next to him.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Morning!" Phil responded, and Dan could hear the fake cheeriness in his voice. He nodded, deciding not to press Phil into talking so early, and went to the kitchen to make his own bowl of cereal. 

When he returned to the lounge, he saw Phil with his phone in his hand again, violently typing something out, pressing send, and falling back against the sofa with a sigh, phone falling out of his hand. 

Dan came to the sofa and sat down next to Phil, sitting with his legs crossed so he could face his friend.

"Who was that?" He ventured to ask, and Phil just rolled his eyes.

"Louise."

"What'd she do this time?" Dan chuckled a bit, hoping to add some levity to the conversation.

"She gave Sam my number. The guy from the bar." 

"Oh." Dan said, honestly a bit impressed that this Sam guy had so much determination.

"Yeah, I pointed her and Zoe out, as well as you as we were talking, saying you were who I came with, and apparently after we left he asked her for my number. She apologized. Said she was drunk and had seen us flirting so didn't think twice, but... now I feel bad ignoring him." Phil mumbled, and Dan shook his head in confusion.

"So don't." Phil raised an eyebrow. "Don't ignore him! He was cute and you liked him, answer the guy! Give him a chance!" Dan prodded Phil, but he just sighed.

"I can't."

"Why not?" 

"I just can't!"

"Phil, why for the love of god can't you-"

"I can't kiss, Dan!" Phil cried out, and Dan's eyes widened as Phil looked down intently at his bowl of cereal. "I just... I can't. I'm bad at it, and the girls I kissed when I was younger said I was awful, and I just... I can't do it, Dan."

"Phil... I'm sure you're fine, that was a long time ago..." Dan said softly, surprised at the weakness in his friend's voice.

"I'm not! I wasn't just not good, I was  _awful._ I wouldn't even know where to start! I'm thirty years old for gods sake, and I've never even properly kissed anyone, how on earth am I gonna be good enough for someone who's had a lifetime of experience?" 

"Phil..."

"I just... I want to. I want to be able to do it, but I just can't. I can't kiss someone I like and end up having them disgusted with me. I can't do that." Phil muttered, and Dan reached forward to rub his knee in consolation.

"It's okay, Phil. What if you just message him back, say yes to a date and get coffee or something. You don't have to kiss him, just see if you like him when you're sober." Dan suggested, and Phil sighed, shrugging.

"I don't know. You just... you don't understand. I've never done  _anything._ I don't know how to kiss, I've never had a real relationship... I'm a goddamn thirty year old virgin." Phil laughed sickly at the end, and Dan moved forward, putting both their cereal bowls on the coffee table so he could pull Phil into a hug.

"Hey... hey it's okay. You don't have to feel bad just because you haven't done those things. It's okay. And if this Sam guy likes you enough to deserve you, he won't mind helping you through the learning process."

Phil pulled back, giving Dan a small appreciative smile. "Yeah... maybe... I don't know. I'm just scared, you know?" Dan nodded in understanding, and Phil sighed, then started laughing.

"I've practiced on my hand." he giggled, and Dan shook his head, laughing.

"Phil, you know your hand isn't the same as-"

"I know, I know." Phil chuckled, blushing at his admission. "I just... I figured maybe it'd help."

"Did it?"

"What do you think?" 

Both boys laughed, and Phil picked up his phone, biting his lip in contemplation. Finally, he opened a conversation in his messages and typed out a response, hitting send quickly. 

"I did it."

"What'd you say?" Dan asked eagerly, and Phil shrugged.

"Just that I had a good time meeting him and I'm sorry I said no, that I  _would_ like to get coffee sometime if he wants." Dan smiled and just then Phil's phone dinged, and when he picked it up he beamed.

"Good news?" Dan asked with a smile, and Phil nodded enthusiastically.

"I have a coffee date in four days!" 

Dan pulled Phil into a hug and rubbed his back, smiling.

"I'm proud of you. You'll do fine, and if you need an out at any point, just call me and I'll be your excuse. I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Dan."


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not going back and editing - let me know if you like this style or if you don't and are finding errors. Thank you! <3

Everything seemed fine. Phil seemed to have relaxed, and consequently so did Dan. 

They watched a show and talked about video ideas, deciding to film a new Sims the next day. 

"Hey, I'm gonna go shower, wanna watch a movie when I get out?" Dan asked. 

Phil looked lost in thought as he mumbled, "Yeah..." not looking at Dan. Dan shrugged, Phil got lost in his own world sometimes and it had ceased to surprise him long ago. 

Dan showered, getting out and drying off, pulling on a pair of sweats and a tshirt he had brought in with him. 

He left the bathroom and went back to the lounge, but Phil wasn't there. Dan sighed and made his way to Phil's door, pushing open without thinking to knock.

What Dan saw left hip openmouthed.

It wasn't just the fact that Phil had porn pulled up on his laptop. That would have made Dan embarrassed, but it was normal and he would have just ducked out.

No... this was definitely not  _normal._  

When Dan watched porn it was for pleasure, and he'd be tending to himself, but Phil... Phil was sitting crosslegged, fully clothed, staring intently at the screen with a notepad in front of him and a pencil in hand, scribbling out notes.

Dan coughed loudly and Phil jerked his head around, eyes going wide as he slammed the laptop shut, tugging the earbuds out of his ears.

"Dan-" 

"What the hell did I just walk in to, Phil?" Dan asked, utterly shocked.

"Um...."

"Do you do this... a lot?" 

"Dan... I really don't want to talk about-"

"Sorry. Sorry, um..." Dan turned to go, then turned back to Phil, awkwardly. "Uh... I'll be in the lounge. Come in whenever you want to watch that movie."

"Okay." Phil squeaked as Dan exited the room quickly, shutting the door behind him.

_What the hell?_

Was Phil really  _that_ desperate to be more knowledgeable that he was trying to... take notes? Study? Dan chuckled a bit, because porn is definitely not the way to study for a real-life first kiss or first time. 

Sighing, Dan slumped onto the couch. What was he going to do about his friend? He wanted to help him... wanted to somehow make him less scared to do such a simple thing as a kiss.

Dan sat up, an idea springing to mind.

In perfect timing, Phil came shyly walking into the lounge, head down in embarrassment.

"Phil-" Dan started.

"I'm sorry that was so embarrassing, can we just forget that ever happened?" Phil blurted out, and Dan stood and walked to him, taking Phil's hands in his to get the older boy to look at him.

"Of course." Phil nodded and smiled, breathing out his relief. 

"Thank you." 

Dan dropped Phil's hands because that felt a little too intimate for what he was about to suggest. 

"Phil... I was thinking about your... your problem, and I was thinking of how I could help..."

"Dan..." Phil warned, suspicion coming into his tone.

"No, just hear me out, okay? You said yesterday that you were scared to kiss someone you liked in case they were disgusted by you."

"Yeah? I don't see how reminding me of my fears is going to help me." Phil said dejectedly.

"No, it's just..." Dan looked down and wrung his hands. He wasn't nervous about the idea itself, just of how Phil would respond. "I mean... I could help."

Phil looked at Dan, eyebrows raised. "How would that help?"

"I mean... you could see how it is and maybe I could give you some pointers. You could get more used to it, and you don't have to worry about it, because you don't like me." Dan said, and Phil nodded slowly.

"Dan we've lived together for years, you think I don't like you?" he asked, and Dan let out a breathy chuckle.

"You know what I mean. You wouldn't have to worry about me 'being disgusted' by you, because it's not like we're planning on kissing forever. I could just... give you some starting tips."

"God this sounds so weird, but okay. I'm in." Phil said, sighing.

"Okay." Dan agreed, suddenly far less nervous now that Phil hadn't freaked out. Dan was no stranger to kissing, and there was nothing romantic between he and Phil, so it wouldn't be weird. It'd just be a friend helping a friend. 

"Should we stand or sit?" Phil asked, blushing, and Dan laughed.

"Whatever feels comfortable for you." he responded, and Phil shrugged. "Okay well we're standing now, so let's try it that way." Phil nodded.

"Okay, I'm going to do it now, if you have any questions just ask, and if you want me to stop at any point, just say 'stop'." Phil nodded again.

Dan walked forward, gingerly placing his hands on either side of Phil's face. Phil looked up at him, icy blue eyes wide, mouth slightly open in surprise. Dan could tell his heart was beating fast because he could see the vein in Phil's neck pulsing at mouse-like speeds.

Slowly, Dan leaned forward. He closed his eyes when he was about three inches away, and just as he felt his nose brush Phil's, he felt hands come up and put light pressure on his shoulders, holding him back, and Phil angled his head down.

"Stop. Stop stop stop..." Phil breathed out, and now he was shaking. 

"Hey, it's okay." Dan said, pulling Phil into a hug. Phil nodded against Dan's shoulder, and they stood there this way for a few moments. "What happened?" Dan asked, and Phil pulled back, taking a deep breath and trying to get his nerves together. 

"Do you remember that it's been like sixteen years?" Phil asked, and Dan chuckled a bit, nodding. 

"Fair enough. Are you sure you want to do this?" 

"Yeah... yeah. I really like Sam, and I don't want to be like this... with him." Dan nodded, but didn't move towards Phil.

"Take your time, just tell me when you're ready. We can even watch something now and forget about it for a bit, it doesn't have to happen right this second." 

"No... I want to do it now. Thank you though." Phil mumbled, then looked up and held eye contact with Dan, gaze sincere and grateful. "Really, thank you. I know this isn't the most normal favor to do for a flatmate." 

Dan laughed, nodding his head. "That's true. Can't say I've ever helped a guy learn how to kiss for a date with another guy." They both giggled a bit, then Dan snapped his gaze up to Phil, expression dead serious.

"The phandom can  _never_ know about this." They held serious gazes for a moment, then both broke down into laughter, imagining what a shit show that would be. 

"Okay... okay." Phil said as he caught his breath from laughing, holding his stomach as his tongue poked through his teeth. "I'm ready, let's do this."

Dan nodded and moved forward. They were both still smiling, but when Dan's hands met Phil's face again, their smiles dropped, and you could hear a pin drop.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Dan nodded and leaned forward slowly, pausing as their noses brushed to give Phil a chance to back out again, then pressed forward, connecting their lips.

It was okay.

There isn't much of a way for a soft and short kiss to be  _bad,_ but Phil's lips were pursed and tight and offered little to no resistance. It certainly wasn't a good kiss, but Dan didn't mind, because wasn't that why they were doing all of this?

"Okay..." Dan said after pulling back, and Phil dropped his head, his cheeks blazing red.

"I'm sorry, god I know that was awful."

"It wasn't awful." Dan brought his hand to Phil's chin, tilting it up so Phil met his gaze. "Hey. Don't be embarrassed, okay? It's just me." Phil nodded and gave a small smile.

"Okay, so don't purse so hard. Just let your lips soften... here why don't you just keep completely still, lips slack, and I'll kiss you and show you how to do it, then you can try?" Dan raised his eyebrows in question and Phil nodded.

"Okay, yeah. Yeah... sure that'd be good."

"I'm going to do it now..." Dan said, raising his eyebrows as he began to lean in, allowing for Phil to stop him. 

Instead, Phil let his mouth fall slack and Dan leaned in, pressing his lips lightly to Phil's, constricting on his friend's lips gently as they connected, then pulling away.

"Did you feel the difference?" Dan asked and Phil nodded. 

"Yeah. Yeah, okay I think I can do that." 

"Okay, you want to try?" Phil nodded in agreement and Dan leaned back in. This time when he touched Phil's lips with his, the older boy mimicked his movements. 

It still wasn't a great kiss by any means, but it was a vast improvement from the first try. 

"That was better!" Dan congratulated, pulling back to hold himself at arms reach by Phil's shoulders. Phil blushed intensely, shuffling away from Dan a bit so his arms fell to his sides. 

"Uh... thanks. I'm sorry that I'm asking you to do this... I know it's so weird... you're a really good friend."

"I know." Dan responded with a grin. "I'm just doing this because now you owe me _big time_ for any favors I need in the future!" This got the effect Dan hoped for, making Phil giggle and relax out of his nervous and embarrassed state. 

"It's okay, alright? It's just me."

"Okay..." Phil agreed, nodding as if he was trying to convince himself.

"So... do you want to practice more? Step it up a notch?" Dan saw Phil's eyes fly open and the blush came back. 

"Uh... um..." he mumbled, shuffling his feet. 

"We don't have to. Whatever you're comfortable with, I mean this is all for you." Dan reminded him, and Phil nodded, thinking.

"Uh... maybe we can just keep it at this level today. Like... keep doing that for the rest of the day, but... I don't think I'm ready for more yet. I can get comfortable with this today, and there are still a few days before I see him, maybe I'll feel better about trying for... more... later. But for now I think just the small uh... kisses are good." Phil stammered, awkwardly tripping over words.

"Okay. Do you want me to warn you before I do it, or just try to make it natural?" 

"Um... yeah just do it. You don't have to warn me, I should just try to get used to it." Phil said decidedly, and Dan nodded.

"Alright. Pizza for dinner?" He asked, and Phil relaxed now that they were onto another subject.

"Please!" He agreed and Dan gave him a small smirk, stepping forward and leaning in to press a quick kiss to Phil's lips before pulling out his phone. 

Phil stared at him in shock and Dan winked jokingly, chuckling as he dialed the number, putting it to his ear. 

They ordered pizza and sat down to start that movie that they had long forgotten about. When the pizza came Phil got it and brought it up, and they munched happily, all awkwardness gone, simply falling into their normal, easy friendship.

When they had had their fill, Dan leaned back and stretched his arms out along the top of the couch. 

"Hey Phil... if you haven't had a relationship... have you ever really been close to people? You know, cuddled and stuff?" Dan asked, and Phil raised his eyebrows.

"Dan I swear to god if the phandom ever finds out..." Dan smirked and leaned forward to wrap his arms around Phil, kissing him briefly and then pulling him against Dan's side as they settled back for the movie. 

"Wow, it's a good thing I asked, you're an  _awful_ cuddler!" Dan exclaimed as Phil awkwardly held himself away from Dan by one arm propped against the cushion of the couch, his elbow jamming into Dan's ribs as his ear barely rested on Dan's shoulder, and Dan could tell that Phil was using his neck muscles to hover.

"Shut up, this is weird!" Phil laughed, and Dan shook his head good-naturedly. 

"Just relax, okay? Here-" Dan reached down around Phil's torso and positioned him how he wanted him, and waited until Phil finally relaxed, head fully resting on Dan's shoulder, leaning against him with his arms wrapped around Dan's torso, as Dan's left arm hung over Phil's shoulders.

"Much better." Dan encouraged, and Phil laughed softly.

"This is ridiculous."

"Sam will thank me." Dan shrugged, and Phil shook his head into Dan's shoulder.

"You're an idiot. Thank you." 

"You're welcome." 

They finished the movie and brushed teeth, conversing normally, standing a normal distance apart. The moments were very clear, and Dan was being careful to keep it that way. This wasn't a real thing, this was him helping his friend, so he made it very obvious when they were 'practicing', and when things were normal. 

Now they were in the hall, getting ready to go to their separate rooms for the night. 

Dan turned to Phil, and was surprised when Phil was the one to lean in and press a small kiss to Dan's lips, pulling back with his eyebrows raised.

"Was that okay?" He asked nervously, and Dan laughed a little as he nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're relaxing and you're getting the hang of it already." Dan assured him, and it was true. That wasn't saying much, however, as each kiss was less than a second long, and it was hard to be bad at that. The real test would come if Phil got up the courage to take it a step further, but Dan wasn't going to push him. 

"Okay... okay cool. Yeah uh... night." Phil said awkwardly, and Dan laughed, leaning in to kiss him once more to quell the awkwardness.

"Night. Nerd." Dan went into his room and shut the door, changing into just sweatpants and falling into bed, laughing breathily at the ceiling.

This was fucking weird.

He didn't care, though, and that was maybe part of what was weird. With anyone else he'd never do this, but something about it being Phil just made it easy. He wasn't worried about it, he just genuinely wanted to help his friend, and he knew their bond was too strong to be broken by this. It was like teaching someone how to type... it just didn't feel awkward.

Dan sighed and crawled under the covers. His mind raced as usual, thinking about things from the vastness of the universe to video ideas to whether a pumpkin spice latte should be seasonal or year-round since it was so popular. 

His mind was drifting and sleep was just taking over when Dan heard a timid knock at his door.

"Yeah?" He asked sleepily, propping himself up on his elbows.

Phil creaked the door open slowly and Dan squinted at the light rushing in.

"Hey." Phil whispered, closing the door behind him, and Dan fell back on his pillow, relieved by the return of the darkness, broken only by a tiny warm glow of a nightlight across his room.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Uh... I was thinking about this whole... experiment thing we're doing."

"Yeah?" Dan asked, turning his head and opening one eye to look at Phil.

"Um... so what you said before... you were right. About me not, uh, cuddling. Like totally you don't have to or anything, but uh I was just thinking like..."

"Phil." Dan said, breaking off his friend's stammering as he raised the blankets in invitation.

"You're a good friend, Dan." Phil said as he climbed into bed next to Dan, laying awkwardly next to him. 

"Wow, you  _really_ don't know how any of this works, do you?" Dan asked, and Phil looked over, shrugging, then his eyes widened.

"Dan! You're not wearing a shirt!" 

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to come in and cuddle  _me._ I'm sleeping how I sleep, join me as I am or leave, I don't care." Dan chuckled and Phil sighed.

"Fine." Dan could see his blush even in the darkness. "Um... can you just like... put me where you want me?" Phil asked awkwardly and Dan laughed softly.

"Alright, needy."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, just joking. I know this is all new to you, I'm sorry." Dan said, turning on his side and lightly pushing Phil's shoulder to indicate he do the same, turning him to face away from Dan. Dan scooted forward and wrapped his arm around Phil's waist, pulling a bit to press them together so their bodies lined up, Dan's knees bending into the back of Phil's. Phil had his arm in an awkward and rigid straight line down his side, sitting atop Dan's arm that hung loosely over Phil's waist then bent and came up to spread his hand over Phil's ribcage right below his chest.

"Here-" Dan said, moving his arm to grab Phil's hand and guide it, placing his hand back on Phil's ribcage. "Put your hand under mine." Phil nodded, bumping Dan's nose slightly with the back of his head and mumbling a small 'sorry', but he put his arm there and drew in a deep and shaky breath before relaxing. 

"Good. Just relax, okay?" 

"Okay." Phil squeaked, and Dan chuckled a bit into his dark hair.

"I think we've won the 'no boundaries anymore' friend award." Dan chuckled, and Phil giggled a bit. That was good. Dan liked making Phil laugh, especially during these moments since he knew his friend was so tense.

"Yeah, for sure. Night... bro." Phil said, intentionally lowering his voice into a deep and 'manly' growl, and Dan laughed.

"Yeah... pshhh!" he made a sound effect as he balled his hand on top of Phil's on his ribs into a fist and fist bumped Phil.

"Bros." he whispered into Phil's ear, and Phil shrunk back at the unexpected air. 

"You sound like Pewdiepie."

"Life goals achieved."

"I think you'll need to start taking some hormones, though, to keep up with that beard."

"Don't remind me about my pre-pubescent body, Phil. Rude." Dan scolded jokingly, and Phil sighed dramatically.

"Dan you're the one who brings it up in  _every video and tweet ever."_

"You've got me there!" Dan laughed, and Phil went silent for a bit.

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're my friend. The fact that we can do... this... and still just joke around like normal... Thank you."

"Sap."

"Dork."

"Night, you spoon."

"Night, Dan." Dan heard a smile in Phil's voice and he smiled as well, burying his face in Phil's hair as he drifted into sleep.


	3. Chapter Three

Dan woke up sweating.

He felt that the sticky body he was pressed to was Phil's, and pulled away gently, detangling himself and throwing off the duvet to give him some much needed air. 

Phil stirred next to him and turned over to look at Dan, still under the duvet.

"Morning." Phil mumbled, blinking awake.

"Hey, sorry if I woke you up." Dan's voice was rough and scratchy and he coughed a bit to clear his throat.

"You're fine. Uh... thanks again. For last night." Phil muttered, suddenly extremely intrigued by his fingers which he began picking at.

"No problem. Phil I really don't mind, okay? Don't worry about it... it's just me." 

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Thanks."

"Here, come over here." Dan said because Phil looked so awkward, reaching forward to pull Phil in, but Phil's eyes widened and he put his hands forward to stop Dan in a panic.

"Nonononono!" Dan pulled his hands back, raising an eyebrow at Phil. 

"Oh um... I'm just... uh... really warm. Um... you wanna make us some cereal and I'll come join you?" Phil asked, scrunching his face in embarrassment, because they both knew the real reason. 

Dan nodded understandingly and left his room, hearing the loud sigh that escaped Phil once the door was shut.

He didn't judge Phil at all. All guys woke up with morning wood sometimes, and especially if Phil wasn't used to cuddling with people... Dan wasn't going to let that make it weird. Dan was a pretty reasonable guy, and it stood to reason that that would happen sooner or later if he's helping Phil with all of this, so he shrugged it off and poured them two bowls of cereal and brewed up some coffee, bringing it to the lounge and pulling up Attack on Titan, waiting for Phil.

He heard Phil go up and make his way to the bathroom, take a quick shower, then stumble into the lounge.

"Hey." Dan said, smiling at Phil and indicating his food which Phil sat down to and began eating eagerly.

"Hey." Phil said through a mouthful of shreddies. "Thanks." 

"No problem... nice shower?" Dan asked and there was a hint of a smirk to his voice. He didn't judge Phil, but that didn't mean he couldn't tease him.

Phil's cheeks went crimson and he put his cereal down, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry." He mumbled into his hands, and suddenly Dan felt bad for teasing him, because he seemed to actually feel guilty about it.

"Phil it's fine, I was just joking." Dan reassured, putting a hand on Phil's shoulder. "It's fine, it happens."

"Thanks Dan." Phil said, giving Dan an appreciative small smile and returning to his cereal. "You're a good friend."

"I know, I'm the best of friends, and don't you forget it!" Dan grinned and Phil smiled. They turned on Attack on Titan and sipped their coffee as they watched their favorite anime.

After they clicked on the second episode, Phil got a text.

"It's Sam!" Phil exclaimed, smiling. 

"Oooh, is he asking for nudes already?" Dan asked wryly, wiggling his eyebrows at Phil and cackling as Phil punched him in the shoulder.

"Actually shut up!" They both laughed and Phil began texting Sam as they watched.

Usually Dan would get annoyed by someone texting during a show, but he was excited for his friend having a date, and he wasn't about to tell him to stop texting this new guy. 

He glanced at Phil occasionally and smiled as he saw the older boy smiling at his phone, a dopey grin on his face.

The texting lasted about thirty minutes and then Phil seemed to send a 'goodbye', tossing his phone down on the couch next to him and sighing. Their episode had just finished and Phil grabbed the empty bowls from the coffee table, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to Dan's lips, taking him by surprise. 

"Thanks for breakfast." Phil smiled and brought the dishes into the kitchen. 

When Phil returned he wore a thoughtful expression, and sat down a bit formally next to Dan. 

"I swear if you're about to apologize for just kissing me... because I was proud of you for a second there..." Dan started, not giving an actual threat but implying it, and Phil shook his head.

"No, no that's not it. I just wanted to... uh... you said you'd be okay helping me with... a step further? I really like Sam, and... yeah. Yeah, I think I'd be okay with that today."

"Oh!" Dan exclaimed, surprised. "Uh... alright. I'm gonna... I haven't brushed my teeth yet." He said a little awkwardly, and Phil giggled. 

"I have coffee breath too, that's probably a good idea." Dan laughed, shaking his head at the situation they'd gotten themselves into, and they made their way to the bathroom to brush teeth.

Dan was fairly certain Phil brushed his teeth for an extra minute or two just to stall, but Dan didn't try to rush him because this was all for Phil, and he could take it at whatever pace he needed. Dan was just here to help.

When Phil was finally done they made their way back to the lounge, because making out in the bathroom just seemed a bit weird.

"Alright, so I don't want to overstep any comfort zones, so tell me exactly what you want to do, and remember that it's okay to say stop at any point." Dan said, and Phil nodded, shuffling his feet nervously.

"Uh... like. I guess let's start with a longer kiss... but no tongue yet?" Phil asked, and Dan nodded. 

"Alright, I'll stop you if I have a suggestion, but otherwise I'm going to leave it up to you for when to pull back." Dan said.

"Okay." Phil nodded, looking at the ground.

"You ready?" Dan asked and Phil nodded again, only looking up at Dan once Dan's hands met his cheeks.

Dan leaned in slowly, as always, and connected their lips gently. This part was normal, and Phil had gotten pretty used to it so it didn't feel too awkward. That changed the moment Dan parted his lips a bit then pressed back together, moving into the kiss. Phil froze and just sat there, and after a few attempts, Dan began laughing, pulling away from Phil.

"Phil, you've gotta move!" he giggled, and Phil shook his head, bringing his hand up to slap his forehead.

"I'm sorry! I panicked!" Phil apologized, laughing at himself.

"Okay, let's do what we did the first time. You just sit there and I'll do what you're supposed to do, then we can try again?" Phil nodded gratefully, and Dan leaned back in to kiss him.

Dan kissed Phil gently, putting feeling and passion behind the kiss, but no burning and building heat, and not a lick of tongue as per Phil's request. He kissed him for about fifteen seconds before pulling away. 

"You got that?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded, clearing his throat as he blushed.

"Hey." Dan said, holding Phil's shoulders and getting him to meet Dan's eyes. "It's just me, remember?" Phil nodded. "Okay, let's try again."

Dan leaned in and this time Phil moved with him. It was awkward and Phil's teeth pushed against his lips, pressing through both their lips and pushing against Dan's own teeth. It was awkward and bumpy and a bit painful at times, but that was nothing Dan hadn't expected. 

The kiss continued on for a while, and finally Phil pulled back, hanging his head. 

"I'm sorry." He said dejectedly, and Dan shook his head in protest.

"No, don't be sorry! This is new for you, it's why we're doing this." 

"Yeah... okay. Thanks, Dan." 

"Just remember this in three years when I need a favor." Dan said lightly, and Phil nodded, laughing a bit.

"I think you've earned a lifetime of favors from me." he said honestly, and Dan brought his hands together, drumming his fingers against each other in a dramatic 'plotting' pose.

"Ooh, have I now?" He said mischievously, and Phil laughed, causing Dan to drop the ridiculous pose and giggle as well. 

"Okay, so loosen your lips again. You're tightening them and it's what makes it so bumpy and makes our teeth press together, which isn't what you want. Don't move too fast, just think of it as the kisses we've been doing already, just one after the other. Okay?" 

"Oh... okay yeah. I can do that." Phil said, taking this in. Dan almost giggled again, fairly certain by the concentration on Phil's face that if he had a pen and paper he'd be taking notes. 

"Alright, let's do this!" Dan leaned in and connected their lips again, and he was impressed by how fast a learner Phil was. Their lips connected softly, and Phil opened his mouth gently then shut it again around Dan's lips, repeating that motion. It was a bit awkward and sloppy, but a vast improvement from the time before. When they pulled apart, Dan nodded approvingly.

"Much better. Practice that a few more times, and no one will know you didn't have a proper kiss until your thirties. And that it was with your best friend." Dan added, laughing.

"Yeah, the idea that it was just like the normal kisses, but several in a row helped a lot." Phil said, and Dan smiled.

"Okay yeah, just maybe don't open your mouth so much between. You can part your lips, but unless you're looking for tongue, you don't want to open that wide." Dan instructed, and Phil nodded. There was a pause for a second, and then Phil was shaking his head and laughing breathily, looking at Dan in wonder.

"How is our friendship so awesome?" He marveled, and Dan shrugged.

"I know, I almost  _want_ to post this online just to flaunt how strong our friendship is that we can do this and not have it be  _too_ weird." Dan chuckled, then quickly added, "Not really. The phandom is never finding out." and Phil nodded violently. 

"Speaking of the phandom, Dil time?" Phil asked, and Dan laughed.

"Sure. Just remember to keep your mouth to yourself on camera, Lester." he warned jokingly, and Phil giggled.

"You too, Howell, I know you just can't resist my top-notch kissing skills." Dan broke at this, full on cackling now. 

"Oh yes, Phil, you're just too irresistible!" Dan moaned dramatically and Phil punched his shoulder.

"Hey, don't act like it's a joke, you  _know_ I am! I know you've just been waiting for this for  _years_ , right? Been in love with me from day one!"

"Oh, head over heels, Phil, head over heels. And any second now I'm going to profess my true feelings, back you against a wall and kiss you, beg you to fuck me, then run away after and freak out over why I just 'made a huge mistake' and 'need to move out now', and then you'll come comfort me and all will be well and we'll live happily ever after with children and a dog and wedding rings. Because our lives are a fanfiction, Phil." Dan said sarcastically, and Phil's eyes widened as he laughed.

"Wow, you've really read a few of those, haven't you?" He chuckled, and Dan shrugged.

"I enjoy creative writing!" 

They both giggled as they made their way to the gaming room, setting up a video. They filmed the video and there were no awkward moments or parts that needed editing because of accidental kisses. Dan hadn't been worried in the first place, they were doing a very good job of keeping everything separate. 

Once they clicked off the camera, Phil turned to Dan, wide eyed. 

"I can't believe Dil is pregnant!" He exclaimed, putting his hands to his forehead.

"Ugh I don't even want to think about it. This entire game went from a sweet family simulation to a shitpost in naught point five seconds. We've ruined Dil." Dan groaned.

"I mean, who knows! Maybe the alien baby will be awesome! Maybe it'll earn us tons of simoleons and we'll be rich! We can buy the Landgrabs' home and evict them!" Phil giggled and Dan rolled his eyes, smiling.

"Do child labor laws apply to alien babies in the sims?

"I don't know!" Phil exclaimed, holding his hands over a shocked open mouth. 

Dan giggled. Their banter was usually pretty smooth and their internet personas were definitely parts of their personalities, but they were exaggerated parts that usually calmed down once the camera was off. He kind of liked when Phil forgot the camera was off sometimes and would continue to be AmazingPhil, but off camera, just for Dan's eyes. The inner fanboy who had stalked Phil years ago, his inner Phil Trash #1 felt a bit boastful of the fact that he got to see 'the youtuber' in moments no one else did, and not just his best friend. 

All traces of AmazingPhil were gone, though, when Phil leaned in and took Dan's face in his hands, glancing at Dan for a moment to ensure it was okay, then leaning in and pressing their lips together. Dan was surprised, but he was impressed and proud of Phil for making the first move. 

They kissed for a bit and it was still slightly awkward, but Phil definitely improved with practice and it wasn't nearly horrible anymore. 

"Was that better?" Phil asked as he pulled away, and Dan nodded. 

"Yeah, yeah you're picking up on it quick. We can just keep practicing whenever you want, and I'm sure you'll be fine by the time the date comes around." Dan reassured, and Phil smiled. They worked on editing for a bit, getting the video to a rough stage before deciding to take a lunch break. Dan heated up some soup they'd made a few days ago and they sat down on the couch, flicking on the TV to a channel that was airing reruns of Friends.

They watched and ate. Phil texted Sam some more, and he no longer wore that dopey grin, but Dan was happy that he was talking to the guy. When they were finished and Phil was done texting they leaned back against the couch, putting their bowls on the table when they were done, sleepy from warm soup belly. 

"Dan?" 

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm ready... to like... uh..." 

"Just spit it out it'll be less awkward." Dan suggested.

"Tongue. Um... if you're okay with that." Phil said, and Dan turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. 

"Ooh, you're ready to get down and dirty now, are you Phil?" Dan teased and Phil blushed. Dan moved forward, reaching towards Phil who backed up as Dan grabbed his sides, tickling Phil's ribs.

"NOnononononoNO!" Phil protested, giggling and squirming as Dan pinned him down and tickled him.

They both giggled and eventually Dan let up, sitting back and letting Phil sit up straight and fix his fringe. 

"You're awful."

"I'm the best." Dan argued, and Phil shrugged.

"That's true too." 

They laughed for a while, but once they both calmed down, Dan looked at Phil questioningly.

"You sure you're ready for this?" he asked, and Phil nodded.

"Okay, so we're going to kiss like we have been today but I'm going to use tongue. You just do what you've been doing today, just open up enough for me to get in there." Dan squinted at his choice of words and Phil giggled, but he continued. "Then we'll do it again, and we'll both use tongue. Okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks again." Phil said, and Dan shrugged.

"What are friends for?"

"Not this, usually."

"True, but I'm a really  _really_ good friend!" 

"That you are." Phil smiled, and Dan grinned.

"Okay, let's do this." He said, leaning in. He'd given up on the extremely slow build up, just going in for the kiss now. 

He pressed their lips together and then Phil's mouth opened wide and Dan couldn't hold in his laughter, breaking the kiss and shaking his head into Phil's shoulder. He pulled back, giggling as Phil stared at him in confusion.

"What?"

"Phil, part your lips for me to work my way in there, don't fucking open your mouth like you're trying to roar!" Dan laughed as Phil blushed. "It's okay, it's okay. Just like... make it subtle, you don't have to open your mouth so wide." 

"Okay." 

"Alright, let's try again." Dan said, calming his giggles, then going in for another try.

Phil kissed him the way they'd been doing it, and Dan brushed his tongue against Phil's lip to ask for entry. Phil didn't pick up on this and continued to kiss Dan normally. 

"Phil." Dan whispered, not breaking the kiss, just speaking into his lips. "When I lick your lip it means to open up. Just a little though, remember." 

"Okay." Phil whispered back, and they continued kissing. Dan swiped Phil's lip with his tongue again and Phil's mouth shot open a bit too wide, but then he realized and brought it back in to just a small opening and Dan nodded against his lips, slipping his tongue between them. 

Phil made a small noise of surprise but didn't pull away, so Dan worked his tongue in and out of Phil's mouth, sliding it along the top of Phil's own. He could feel Phil holding himself back, instincts making him want to move his tongue in response. 

"Go ahead." Dan whispered into his mouth, abandoning the previous plan, and Phil nodded, moving his tongue with Dan's. 

This was the first time Phil got something somewhat right on the first try. At first he didn't move his tongue into Dan's mouth, but simply responded to Dan's in his own, twisting and brushing, and for the first time Dan felt a bit of heat rise in him and smiled a bit, proud of his friend. Phil wasn't bad at this part.

However, when Phil finally decided to try to work his way into Dan's mouth, his tongue almost choked Dan as it slammed all the way into his mouth and to the back of his throat. Dan coughed and pulled away, leaving Phil wide eyed and breathless.

"Sorry!" He squealed, but Dan shook his head.

"No, no it was good until then! Really, I was impressed. Just... remember how I did it when I went in, it's not jamming your tongue in the person's throat, just work your way in gently, little by little, okay?"

"Okay, yeah." Phil stammered. 

"You okay?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded.

"Yeah... yeah I'm good that was... nice." Phil smiled shyly, and Dan pulled him into a hug.

"If you need to take a break at any point that's okay. This is for you to learn at your own pace, remember. If you get overwhelmed and need to slow down it's totally fine." Dan said softly, but Phil shook his head.

"Thank you. Really. But no, that was actually really nice and I want to figure it out." Dan nodded, and Phil was the one to start the kiss this time.

Dan kissed back, and smiled when he felt Phil lick at his lower lip, opening to allow him entry. 

Phil made a few little flicks into Dan's mouth, then began moving in steadily, brushing against Dan's tongue. Now that his nerves were out of the way of trying this for the first time, Phil was doing well and Dan began to meet his efforts, making his own explorations in Phil's mouth. They moved together and Dan raised his eyebrows when he felt Phil's hand come down to rest on his knee, sliding up slightly and stopping mid-thigh. 

The kiss grew in heat and Dan began to feel stirring again, which sent another surge of pride through him at Phil's advancements. He wasn't going to be the first to pull back, so he just continued to match Phil's intensity, and was surprised when he found himself truly enjoying the kiss. Phil was progressing well. 

Phil's hand squeezed his thigh gently, then Phil broke their mouths apart by just an inch, pressing their foreheads together.

"Sorry... my hand... is that okay?" he asked nervously, and Dan smiled.

"Whatever you're comfortable with, I am. You don't just kiss with your mouth, Phil. It's good to work on the other parts too. You can use your hands however you'd like, change our positions if you want, I'll tell you if I feel uncomfortable." Dan assured him and Phil nodded, reconnecting their mouths. 

They continued to move that way, and Phil's other hand came around to Dan's back, trying to grab at it, but getting stuck in the fabric. His hand on Dan's thigh brushed up and down lightly, and he slowly brought the hand on Dan's back down and then up under Dan's shirt, gently connecting with his bare back between his shoulder blades. Phil left his hand there for a bit, to give Dan a chance to tell him to stop, then when no objections came he tightened his grip, digging his fingers into Dan's skin and Dan was surprised that he actually found himself holding in a small moan.

He hadn't expected Phil to be this good as they moved further. 

Dan was the one to pull an inch away now and whisper, "Do you want me to use my hands too?"

"Yeah." Phil whispered, leaning back in to kiss Dan, but he pulled away again. 

"Where?" 

"Wherever you usually would. I'll tell you if I want you to stop." Phil breathed heavily, coming back in to crash their lips together. 

Dan breathed in hard and brought his fingers into Phil's hair, grabbing fistfuls and tugging lightly. Phil hummed and Dan smiled into the kiss. His heartbeat was picking up and he felt stirring in him, wanting to be closer, kiss harder. Dan was amazed at how natural Phil's kisses felt all of a sudden.

Sure, there were small hiccups where they'd both giggle a bit as their teeth crashed or Phil would open his mouth a bit too wide and Dan would whisper to remind him to not stretch, but for the most part Phil was doing really well, and Dan was honestly shocked. 

He was even more surprised when Phil began leaning back, pulling Dan who complied and got on his knees, leaning over Phil and then shifting to the side as Phil brought his legs up to lay under Dan, moving back on top so now they were laying together as they kissed. 

Dan felt Phil's heartbeat pounding through his chest, and his own wasn't going much slower. Their tongues crashed together as Dan brought one hand down to rest on Phil's chest. Both Phil's hands were now under Dan's shirt, pulling it up so it was scrunched around his chest, Phil's fingers digging into his back. 

They breathed heavily as they kissed, and it was hot and fast and firey and Dan wasn't surprised when he began to feel his jeans tightening slightly. He sighed into Phil's mouth and began kissing a bit slower, trying to calm it down.

Phil matched his pace and they slowed down until they were just kissing lazily, pulling away between pecks. Finally, Phil tapped Dans shoulder in a silent request for him to get up, and they both sat up, fixing their hair.

"Wow." Phil breathed, and Dan giggled a bit at how flustered Phil looked, face red, lips swollen, eyes dark, and hair messy.

"Yeah, wow. You learn fast, Lester." He chuckled, and Phil blushed.

"Thanks. Uh... so was that... okay?" He asked, and Dan full out laughed.

"Um. Yeah. Yeah that was good. Definitely good." Dan giggled. "I might even go so far as to say that was  _hot_ , Phil, what the hell?" Phil giggled and smiled shyly.

"Yeah... it kinda was." Phil agreed, and they both laughed now. 

"Hey now Phil, don't you go falling in love with me!" Dan teased, and Phil punched his shoulder.

"I could say the same to you, Howell!" Phil retorted, and Dan rolled his eyes.

"Okay don't flatter yourself. Yeah that was surprisingly hot, but you've still got some learning to do!" 

They laughed and joked around a bit more, then eventually separated to go to their own rooms and work on some video ideas. 

Dan was working on a script, but kept getting distracted by Tumblr. He remembered he and Phil's conversation about fanfiction, and decided on a whim to read through one, since his mind couldn't seem to focus on script writing anyways. 

He searched for phanfiction on Tumblr and clicked on the first that popped up.

It wasn't very good. It had tons of conventional errors and didn't seem like Dan and Phil at all. It was super cliche, Dan walking home and Phil coming out of the shower at that exact moment, naked since he thought he was home alone. Story Dan dropped his grocery bag in shock, admiring Phil's wet and pale form, thinking it was 'beatuful'. 

Story Dan raced to Phil and tackled him down, kissing him and confessing that he'd always been in love with Phil, who said he loved him back and they went on to make out and have sex. Dan stopped reading when Phil pushed into Dan, scoffing at the lack of lube in the story. God, he'd never let anyone fuck him without lube, did he have a death wish?

Dan shook his head at the story, laughing a bit. He'd seen Phil naked plenty of times, it's not like the sight would make him pounce on Phil. Though he supposed he wasn't harboring years of pent up feelings like story-Dan was, but still. 

Dan sighed and shut his laptop, deciding for he and Phil that they were getting Chinese tonight.

He called in an order and went down to pick it up when it arrived, going to Phil's door and knocking. 

"Phil, dinner!" 

"Thanks, be right out!" Phil called back, and Dan moved to the lounge and got out forks and water for each of them. 

Phil came out a minute later and smiled. "You got my favorite." 

"Are you surprised?" Dan asked, and Phil shrugged.

"It's just nice. Thanks." Phil said, and Dan smiled. 

They ate and laughed, no signs of awkwardness or sexual tension, just Dan and Phil.

When dinner was finished they brushed their teeth and headed to Dan's room without question. Dan pulled off his shirt and pants, putting on a pair of sweats as usual and climbing into bed. Phil followed, wearing sweats and a tshirt. 

"Come here." Dan said, holding out his arms, and Phil scooted forward to hug Dan, resting his head against Dan's chest. "I'm proud of you." Dan whispered, and Phil looked up with a small smile.

He tilted his head back and Dan looked down, connecting their lips softly. They continued to kiss softly, lazily for a while, then Dan leaned over and flicked off the light. 

"Night, Phil." 

"Night." And Dan felt one more soft kiss on his lips before Phil pulled close to him, curling into Dan's chest tightly as they drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I'm doing a new thing.  
> If you follow me on Tumblr (mollieblackwrites), you can send me any prompt, idea, or even just a quote, and if you let me know it's for 'Moments From Readers' I'll write a small phanficlet *guaranteed* about it. It could be as short as one or two sentences, or as long as a full one shot... most will probably be around the paragraph or two length, though. They'll all be posted on tumblr, and maybe if they reach one shot length I'll put them here, but otherwise they'll be exclusively posted there. I just wanted to let you all know so you guys can come over and request your own 'moments' if you want :) <3 Thank you <3


	4. Chapter Four

Dan woke up slowly, stretching out on his bed and opening his eyes sleepily. He saw that the duvet had been thrown open and Phil was gone, and sighed into his pillow. 

Groaning, he rolled out of bed, literally crawling on the floor to his dresser. 

"I'll miss you, see you again tonight?" Dan whispered to his bed, chuckling to himself as he pulled on some jeans and a tshirt, heading out into the kitchen where he found Phil flipping pancakes and humming to himself.

"Morning." Dan said warmly, leaning against the counter.

"Morning! I'm making pancakes!" Phil said proudly, a large smile on his face as he held up a pancake on a spatula for Dan to see.

"I can see that." Dan laughed. "Coffee?"

"I love you." Phil responded, and they both chuckled at his seriousness towards coffee as Dan began to brew them a pot. 

"So... date tomorrow." Dan said, and Phil blushed a bit. 

"Yeah... I'm really nervous. I've... never actually been on a real date." Dan's mouth dropped. Now that he thought about it, it sort of made sense from Phil's history, but still. Never going on a date? 

"You'll do fine, just be yourself. If he doesn't love you for you, he's crazy and doesn't deserve you because you're amazing." Dan said warmly and Phil smiled.

"Thanks Dan." 

"So... have you guys been messaging any more?" Dan asked with a little eyebrow wiggle, and Phil rolled his eyes.

"Yeah... a bit." he admitted. "He's nice. And he doesn't go online much, which probably would help honestly for anyone I date."

"Yeah, the shippers can get pretty intense." Dan agreed, chuckling. "I still can't imagine what they'd do if they found out about what we've been doing the past few days." 

"Yeah..." Phil said, abandoning his pan to walk towards Dan, swaying his hips dramatically. "Maybe that's just for our eyes." He said, licking his lips enthusiastically as he batted his eyelashes at Dan, making large circles with his tongue so his face was shiny with spit.

"You're disgusting." Dan giggled, reaching up to wipe Phil's face of spit, then wiping his hand on Phil's tee. 

"Mmm..." Phil hummed as he wrapped his arms around Dan's neck, holding the spatula away from Dan's hair, pulling himself in for a kiss.

The kiss was sloppy and wet and disgusting and Phil's tongue was going everywhere, but Dan knew that for once, his friend was actually making it gross on purpose - trying to kiss badly intentionally. Dan smiled a bit into the nasty kiss, because if Phil was comfortable and confident enough to intentionally muck up a kiss, he must be feeling better about his normal abilities, and for that Dan was proud.

"The pancakes are gonna bu-ohugh!" Dan exclaimed as he talked into Phil's kiss, being interrupted by a long and pointy tongue jamming down his throat then re-emerging to lick from his lower lip across the side of his mouth and up his cheek.

"Gross!" Dan laughed, leaning down to wipe his face on Phil's shirt. 

"Show _that_ to the phandom." Phil giggled, turning back to flip his pancake, and Dan shook his head, grinning at his idiotic friend. 

"Honestly as much as they want to see us kiss, I don't think  _anyone_ would be thanking us for posting that." Dan chuckled, and Phil laughed in agreement. 

They brought their food to the lounge and tucked into their pancakes and coffee. Dan noticed that Phil was sitting closer than normal, causing their thighs to press together lightly on the couch. He didn't mind, it'd been a while since he dated and honestly he was somewhat enjoying the feeling of being comfortably close with someone physically.

Dating was so tricky with their careers, Dan had just sort of given up about eight months ago, deciding that once he got desperate enough he'd try again, but he had to take a break from the constant stress that was trying to work relationships around his job online.

"So... how are you feeling about everything?" Dan asked, and Phil looked up from his pancakes, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Like kissing and stuff." Dan explained. "Are you feeling better about it, do you still want to practice, is there anything you still want to try that we haven't done yet?"

"Oh um... I don't know." Phil responded, thinking. "I'm feeling better, but I'd like to keep practicing a bit... if you don't mind at least." he said a bit shyly, and Dan smiled.

"Of course not."

"Okay. Yeah and as for stuff we haven't done... maybe at some point, but right now this is still a lot and I don't think Sam and I will be going any further than what we've done on our date tomorrow, so I think there's still some time."

Dan chuckled, nodding because it was kind of funny to think of Phil heavily making out with some guy in a coffee shop.

"But... for now you still want to practice?" Dan asked slyly, grabbing both their plates and setting them on the coffee table, crawling playfully over Phil who giggled and leaned back against the arm of the couch. 

"Yeah." Phil breathed, but now that they were here a hint of nerves made their way into his tone, and Dan smiled fondly. He had to remember that this was all still very new to Phil, and his friend was still extremely inexperienced. 

Dan dropped the playful act and allowed his expression to become sincere, the hand that wasn't propping him over Phil coming up to Phil's cheek, holding his face gently.

"You sure?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded with a small smile.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm sure." Dan smiled at this and leaned in, connecting their lips softly. 

The kiss started gentle, but Phil clearly had other things in mind. Dan had himself on his elbows above Phil, bodies just brushing as he slowly kissed the boy underneath him. His eyes shot open wide as he felt Phil suck in a deep breath through his nose and wrap his arms around Dan's back, and then Dan was being pulled down and his elbows folded as he crashed into Phil. He almost pulled back in shock, but when he felt Phil gently take his lower lip in Phil's teeth and moan slightly, Dan stayed there. 

Suddenly things were slow again, and Phil opened his eyes to look at Dan nervously, Dan giving him a small squeeze on the shoulder with his hand in encouragement. Phil gently pulled his teeth back until Dan's lip snapped back into place, looking up into Dan's eyes for assurance.

"That was good, Phil. Keep doing things like that, just go with impulses and try new things. Especially with me, because if something goes horribly wrong, well... it's just me." Dan smiled, and Phil nodded. 

"Could you..." Phil started, then reached down to the small of Dan's back, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Dan's eyes widened, but he nodded his head and sat up, straddling Phil as he pulled the shirt up and over his head, watching as Phil tugged off his own tee underneath Dan, throwing it to the ground. 

Phil's eyes scanned Dan's torso as Dan stayed straddling him, waiting for Phil to decide where to take this. He smirked a bit as he saw Phil's blush, taking in the younger boy atop him. When Phil's eyes met Dan's again he flushed even darker. 

"Oh uh sorry I'm um... sorry just..." Phil stammered, and Dan just chuckled.

"I know I'm gorgeous, Phil, just admit it." He joked.

Secretly, though, it sent a wave of reassurance and warmth through him as Phil nodded and mumbled a small "You are". Dan wasn't the most body-confident person in the world, and to hear Phil's compliment comforted Dan, helping him to relax. It wasn't as if Phil hadn't seen him shirtless before, it'd happened plenty of times as they slept or day-to-day, but it was different in this heated context, and Dan had been feeling a bit self conscious. 

Phil slowly brought his hands up to Dan's hips, pulling them forward and pushing up Dan's torso to his chest, rubbing over his nipples slightly which sent a shiver through Dan. He remained where he was as Phil explored his torso with his hands, covering every inch of his front, until finally the long fingers made their way to Dan's back and applied pressure, signaling Dan to lean forward again. 

He did as he was silently asked, leaning forward and pressing their lips together, and as Phil kept pressure on his back he laid down on Phil's chest gently, allowing their skin to press together, eliciting another small moan from Phil. 

Their kiss picked up speed and the cold from Dan's bare back hitting the air directly was vastly counteracted by the warmth below him, and the heat radiating from Phil's tongue lapping into his mouth, and it felt  _good._ Phil was gaining confidence and learning quickly, and was already a better kisser than some of the people Dan had hooked up with in the past. 

Dan felt heat and hunger build in him, the kiss becoming so heated it almost felt aggressive as they crashed together, Dan biting Phil's lip and grinning as the boy stared at him wide eyed, pupils dilated fully. 

When his lip snapped back he bit it, looking at Dan nervously. 

"Can I... try something?" Phil asked, and Dan nodded. 

"What do you want me to do?"

"Um... just sit up." Phil instructed and Dan did as he was told, straddling Phil once more.

Phil pushed himself up to sit as well, and then he was pulling his legs back between Dan's so they were both sitting on their knees, and leaned in to kiss Dan once more. Dan responded, still somewhat unsure of what Phil wanted, until he began to push forward with the kisses and Dan picked up on his intentions, leaning backwards and laying down under Phil, allowing the older boy to situate himself above Dan.

These moments... the moments of transition were the awkward parts where Phil was clearly still a bit uncomfortable and new to this, but Dan honestly found it adorable. The way Phil got flustered and blushed, trying his best to get it right just made Dan want to pull him down and kiss him again, and Dan was loving getting to teach the boy and watch him improve.  

"Um... what should I do with..." Phil stumbled, leaning awkwardly over Dan halfway, and Dan laughed, placing his hands on Phil's hips and helping to adjust him over Dan. 

"Like that."

"Okay." Phil agreed, and then he was leaning down, but he didn't go for a kiss to Dan's surprise. He aimed lower, and Dan only had a split second to realize what was happening before Phil's lips connected with Dan's neck, right under his ear. 

"Wait!" Dan yelped, tapping Phil's shoulder. Phil pulled back immediately, looking at Dan, worry in his eyes.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, confused, and Dan nodded. 

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Just... my neck... need a little warning." Dan laughed, his heart racing. 

"Sorry. Should I not?" 

"No, no. It's good, I'm glad you're trying new things, I just wasn't expecting it is all. You can do it now." Dan assured him, and Phil nodded, still looking unsure.

Dan reached his hands up to wrap in Phil's hair, pulling him gently down to connect their mouths in a sweet kiss. "Really." he promised, and Phil smiled slightly, moving back down to Dan's neck. 

His fingers curled in Phil's hair, trying not to pull to hard. His body arched and his head flew back, gasping in a hiss of air as Phil began kissing up and down his neck. 

"If you leave a mark... do it somewhere a shirt will hide." Dan gasped, and Phil nodded, nuzzling in his neck as he continued his kisses. Finally he moved down below Dan's collarbone and attached, sucking and licking at the skin. Dan felt electricity shoot through him and he moaned, but it quickly turned into a yelp of pain when Phil bit down, a bit too hard, and Dan pushed him off, quickly but gently.

"Sorry!" Phil gasped.

"No... no, stop apologizing. That's what this is for... learning." Dan said, trying to regain his breath. It never ceased to surprise him how sensitive his neck was. "Just... gentle bites. Not that much." Dan instructed, craning his neck to look down, and laughing. "See? You left teeth marks!" Dan scolded jokingly, but when he looked up he realized he maybe shouldn't joke because Phil's face had gone paper white and he was pulling away. 

"Hey... hey it's okay." Dan whispered, reaching up to hold Phil in place gently. "It's pretty normal, I'm fine, just a bit gentler next time, okay?" 

"Um... yeah okay. I'm sorry, can we just... maybe finish this some other time? I think I need a breather." Phil stammered and Dan nodded, sighing. 

"Yeah, of course. Whenever you need." he assured, but he was a little sad, because he didn't want Phil to scare himself off of all of this. 

"Thanks." Phil mumbled, scrambling off Dan, snatching his shirt off the floor, and retreating hastily into his room. 

Dan sighed and picked up his own shirt, pulling it over him and bringing their breakfast dishes into the kitchen. He made his way to his own room, and decided that maybe it was a good thing they had stopped when they did. Dan was in need of some relief, and even though he and Phil were experimenting with some new things, he was pretty sure none of them would end up with him getting off, so this was a nice break to take care of himself. 

Dan pulled his jeans off and flopped onto his bed in boxers, leaning against the headboard. He thought about using some lube from his bedside drawer, but decided that stuff was expensive and not quite worth it just for a jack off.

He shrugged and licked his hand, wetting it before pulling his boxers down to release his half-hard cock, wrapping his damp fingers around it and beginning to stroke. 

At first he didn't think of anything, he usually didn't need to to get off, so he just relaxed into the feeling, bringing his other hand down to cup and squeeze his balls gently as he stroked. 

His mind wandered, and he began thinking about this whole thing with Phil.

Was it weird? He knew it  _should_ be weird, but strangely enough... it just didn't feel strange at all when they did it, only when Dan thought about it too hard. 

Really,  _being_ with Phil was the least weird experience he'd ever had. It felt natural, easy and fun and playful, no worries or stress attached. He felt like he could relax when they were together, and he didn't feel like he had to put up any sort of 'dating persona' that he'd always felt the need to keep up, even in his longer relationships in the past.

With Phil he was just Dan, and adding in more physical contact did nothing to change that. 

Dan picked up the pace, biting his lip and leaning his head backwards against the headboard as precum began leaking out of his tip. He used it to slick up his cock, sliding quicker and easier now, holding in the small moans that gathered in the back of his throat. 

He was so impressed with how far Phil had come. He'd started out so awkward, and sure it was endearing, but there wasn't anything sexy about him. Now their past two makeout sessions had been  _hot,_ and each left Dan breathless and wanting more. 

Dan squinted his eyes tight as he felt his cock throb against his hand, pressure building inside of him.

He thought about Phil's hands on him, his lips on Dan's mouth, his tongue brushing against Dan's own, his lips making their way down to Dan's neck... 

Dan moaned quietly as he bit his lip, stifling the noise as best he could as he came on his chest, cock pulsing in his hand as he gently stroked himself through his orgasm. 

He knew he probably shouldn't have thought of Phil and he felt a little guilty, but  _wow_ had it worked. And anyways, Phil owed him, right? He was helping Phil with all of this, the least he could get out of it was a little enjoyment on his own time. 

Dan laid down, breathing steadying slowly, and felt as if he was melting into his mattress. After a few moments he took in a deep breath and pulled off his boxers, scrunching them up and wiping the cum off his chest, throwing his boxers in the hamper and changing into fresh ones, tugging his jeans back on.

He took a quick glance in the mirror and saw that he looked a mess. He certainly had that after-sex look, ruffled hair, flushed cheeks, a glint of sweat on his forehead and plump lips from he and Phil's interaction earlier that hadn't quite gone away yet. He shrugged, wiping his forehead, and walked out of the room, plopping in the lounge on his laptop to begin responding to some work emails. 

The rest of the day passed normally. When Phil came out he apologized to Dan and it was a bit awkward, but once Dan had him convinced that it really was okay and Phil was completely in control of what they did and when, Phil relaxed and they were able to move on as normal. Dan had neverending gratitude for their ability to fall back into normal conversation, and soon the two were playing Mario Kart after dinner, getting far too into it as always, and when Dan won he shot his hands in the sky in victory, whooping as he looked over to see Phil biting the remote in frustration.

Dan laughed as he watched the right side of Phil's nose scrunch up in frustration, his grey-blue eyes squinting together as he chewed at the plastic. He was utterly adorable, and Dan shook his head as he giggled.

"You're an idiot." He smiled warmly, and Phil sighed, releasing the controller. 

"Daaaaaannnnn...." he whined, plopping over onto Dan's lap dramatically, laying on his back and closing his eyes.

"What do you want?" Dan asked, placing a hand in Phil's hair, stroking it gently.

"I'm nervousssssss."

"For?" 

"The date tomorrow..." Phil said, frowning. Dan felt a weight drop in his chest which he didn't quite understand, but he shook it off as best he could, trying not to dwell on it. 

"You don't have to be nervous, Phil, you'll do fine. He's a lucky guy." Dan said warmly, and Phil groaned, sitting up.

"I don't know... what if it's awkward? What if we get two sentences in and it's awful and then I'm stuck there for hours? What if I like him but then it turns out he doesn't like me? What if it all goes great but then he kisses me and I make it awful and he gets disgusted? What if he asks me to sleep with him, what then?" Phil stammered quickly, and Dan raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

"Phil." he said, getting the older boy to meet his gaze and calm down enough to listen to Dan. "If it's awkward from the start, or at any point for that matter, remember what I said before. Just call me, and I'll be your scapegoat. You can pretend there was an accident or something, I don't care, but I'll help you out. And if the guy asks you to sleep with him on the first date, say no. If he pushes, he's sleezy and you shouldn't waste your time. And if I must say so myself, he won't be disgusted if you two kiss. You've got that down pretty well." Dan said with a smile, and Phil blushed a bit. "And if you like him and he doesn't like you, then he's an absolute moron and he doesn't know what he's missing out on, and doesn't deserve you, because Phil... you deserve everything, okay? You're incredible. Don't let one silly guy from a bar make you lose your confidence." 

"Dan..." Phil said, smiling at the brunette who blushed a bit at his sudden outpour of admiration. "Thank you." he whispered, and pulled Dan in for a hug. 

Dan smiled into the hug, but something in him felt wrong, and he couldn't quite enjoy the hug because he knew that this was all for another man. Another man who Phil was going on a date with tomorrow, and he should probably back off so Phil could concentrate on his real goal. Dan didn't know why his stomach was feeling all twisted and flipped, but pulled away from Phil with a slightly forced smile.

"I'm gonna head to bed..." he said, getting up and heading to the bathroom.

"Oh, I thought we might... okay yeah, sleep's probably a good idea." Phil agreed, and Dan almost winced, wanting to ask Phil to complete his thought, but deciding against it. 

They brushed their teeth in somewhat tense silence, and Dan couldn't put a finger on what had switched, but nothing had been awkward before and suddenly it all shifted. He didn't like it.

Dan headed to his room and he knew Phil watched him go, but Phil didn't follow, and Dan missed his friend's presence as he drifted to sleep in his bed that suddenly felt far too cold.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm so sorry for not updating yesterday. I was busy and also just had a kinda bad day so when I did have a few minutes to write it just wasn't working and I didn't want to put out a bad chapter. Hope you like this one, though <3  
> As I've said a few times I'm getting progressively busier and busier so unfortunately there probably will be a few more days where I won't be able to update, but I'm trying my best to get content out as often as possible <3 thank you all for understanding and sticking with me <3

Dan woke up with a headache. 

He groaned and rolled out of bed, getting some water and aspirin, hoping that the pain would leave soon.

He sighed as he walked out into the lounge and plopped on the sofa, pulling out his laptop to scroll through tumblr. 

When Phil walked in twenty minutes later and sat a few feet away from Dan, not giving him a kiss good morning, Dan decided it was a good thing. Sure, he could help his friend out when it came to techniques since he was so worried and inexperienced, but now that Phil had a  _real_ date with a guy he had  _real_ feelings for coming up so soon, it felt wrong for Dan and him to be doing anything. He didn't know why, but that decision left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he tried to ignore it.

"Morning." Phil mumbled, and the tension in the air was thick. Dan didn't know exactly how this had happened... when they were 'practicing' things had always been easy and never awkward, but now Phil was looking at Dan with a confused and somewhat sad expression, and Dan wasn't sure how to act.

"Dan... did something happen last night?" Phil asked. "Because if you don't want to help me with this anymore that's totally fine, I just... I don't know what happened."

Dan sighed, shutting his laptop. He felt bad, he hadn't really given Phil a real explanation to his sudden shift in mood last night. Maybe it was because he didn't entirely know the reason himself. 

"I don't know... I mean I don't mind helping, but... you have a date today. It's so close, it just feels kinda wrong for us to do anything when there's someone... real... who you might be doing stuff with soon." Dan tried to explain, still unsure of how to entirely articulate his thoughts. 

"Oh... yeah okay. That makes sense." Phil agreed. "But Dan... we're okay?" he asked nervously, and Dan put his laptop on the coffee table now, sighing and moving down the couch to hug Phil.

"Of course we're okay." Phil relaxed in his arms, and when Dan pulled away he plastered a smile on his face. "So, speaking of your date, are you excited?" he tried to sound enthusiastic, but it just wasn't quite genuine, and he felt exhausted from the attempt. 

"Yeah, I guess. It's in an hour, I should probably get ready." Phil mumbled, and Dan nodded.

"Well, wear something nice. And remember, don't stress too much. Call me if you need an excuse, and I'll be here when you get home." Dan smiled and Phil nodded, retreating to his room to prepare for his date. 

Dan sighed as he reopened his laptop, scrolling through his tag to look at all the artwork his fans had came up with lately. He was truly amazed at their talent, and it still humbled him after all these years that something about him inspired so many people to take the time to create such beautiful and creative artwork. 

Of course, Dan found several posts with Phil as well. When he got to one sketchy-style drawing of he and Phil making out, Phil on top with a smirk on his face, Dan chuckled. Phil had a speech bubble that read, 'Don't be scared, baby, I'll teach you.', and Dan responding, 'Yes please, teach me daddy!' 

Dan couldn't help giggling because it was so far from the truth. First of all this clearly implied that they were in some sort of real relationship and that was the obvious difference, but also when he and Phil kissed, Dan was the one teaching Phil. He knew all their subscribers had this fantasy that Phil was secretly super dominant and freaky behind his innocent exterior, but Dan knew different.

Phil every once in a while would try to make little jokes to try to  _seem_ more experienced and 'sexy', but really it was just because he truly was innocent and didn't know what he was doing. Phil was honestly just adorably innocent, and that was all there was to it. Dan thought it was sweet, and the thought of a sexy, dominant, and kinky Phil who liked to be called 'daddy' just made Dan laugh.

Dan got lost in the tumblr tag, and when Phil walked out dressed in a nice button up and skinny black jeans to match his hair, Dan felt warmth flood through him, immediately followed by a heavy feeling in his stomach when he remembered where Phil was going.

"Do I look good?" Phil asked nervously, and Dan nodded, smiling. 

"Yeah, you look great, go get him!" Phil grinned and left the apartment, and Dan was left to wonder why he'd been able to be so supportive and excited for his friend up until last night, and what had changed. 

Deep down, he thought he knew. He knew how much he'd enjoyed their kisses, how much he still wanted to kiss Phil. He knew how ridiculous and cliche and fanfiction-esque it was, but he knew deep down that he was beginning to catch something akin to feelings, but he wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet.

Phil was out on a date with another man, and when he got back Dan would have to be happy for him. Dan was an actor, but he'd never been able to hide jealousy well, so he knew things would be a lot easier if he just didn't allow himself to even consider having non-platonic feelings for his friend, so he just shut his brain up and made himself breakfast, getting lost in the world of Ghibli to try to distract himself. 

It worked, surprisingly, and the next thing Dan knew Phil was opening the door, and  _thank god he was alone._ Dan didn't know if he could have quite handled it if Phil had brought Sam back.

"How'd it go?" Dan asked with a smile, trying to gauge by Phil's expression. Phil's expression was neutral, though, as he sank onto the couch next to Dan.

"It was alright. I dunno, I think we may have just gotten along better when we were drunk. He's nice and all... but we just didn't really have much in common."

Dan tried to pretend like his heart wasn't flying in circles around his chest and little fireworks weren't going off behind his eyes.

Wow, he was further gone than he had thought.

"Oh." was all he said, trying to keep up a nonchalant air. Just because Phil hadn't hit it off with this guy didn't mean he liked Dan, and Dan still had to be careful with his feelings, because the chances were slim of Phil actually caring for him romantically.

"Yeah... so... gaming video?" Phil asked, and Dan nodded, shaking out of his thoughts. Right, they had planned on filming a new Golf With Friends today.

They made their way to the gaming room and set up. As tedious as set up could be, Dan appreciated it because it gave him time to settle into his internet personality, and remember all the complicated rules about his interactions with Phil. 

Of course who Dan and Phil showed the internet were based off themselves, but Dan certainly didn't act the way he did in videos 24/7, and he always used that little bit of time rearranging lights to boost up his energy a bit and prepare to film. 

They filmed the video and jumped straight into editing, making some popcorn and sitting at the computer working through their footage. Dan noticed Phil was being a bit quiet and frowned.

"Phil?"

"Should we leave in this joke about balls getting wet from the river, or do you think that's too crass?" Phil asked.

"You know who you're asking, right? But Phil-"

"Okay but I don't know, it's the gaming channel, we should be at least a little family friendly." Phil argued, still ignoring Dan's words.

"Phil..."

"And you just know people are going to cut the clip and use it out of context..."

" _Phil."_

Finally Phil sighed and turned away from the screen to give Dan his attention.

"What?"

"Are you okay? I know you said you're fine, but you had your first ever date today and it didn't go as you wanted it to. Are you okay?" Dan asked, genuinely concerned about his friend.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Phil muttered, turning back to the computer, but Dan grabbed the arm of his chair and spun it around so Phil had to look at him.

"Phil. I like to think that I know you better than... well probably anybody, and you don't seem fine. I mean you played it off well for the video, but something's wrong. You can talk to me, Phil, it's just me." Dan reassured, and Phil pursed his lips together.

" _I'm fine._ " he repeated, icily cool, and Dan felt anger surge through him, because since when didn't Phil trust Dan of all people with what was going on with him?

"No you're bloody not!" He said, not quite yelling but getting close. "You're clearly not  _fine_ , especially if you're not talking to your _best friend_!" This was when Dan noticed the glossiness forming in Phil's eyes, and suddenly all his anger was long forgotten and he just wanted to comfort his friend. His entire demeanor changed, letting go of Phil's chair and slumping down a bit, lowering his voice so it was soft and soothing.

"Phil... please just talk to me?"

This was what made Phil break, and suddenly his hand was at his mouth and small sobs were escaping his lips, the tears falling freely. Dan leaned forward to hug Phil as best he could from their office chairs, and Phil leaned into the touch. 

"I... I just... what if I can't do this, Dan?" Phil whispered, and Dan pulled him tighter. 

"You can. Phil, you can do anything, and it's just one date." Dan drew in a deep breath, annoyed with himself that this was hard for him to say. "There's someone out there for you Phil, it just might take a little time to find them. But they're out there, and once you do find them, they're going to treat you so well. You know why? Because if they don't I'll beat the living shit out of them." Dan chuckled, rubbing Phil's back.

"Thank you, Dan." Phil said, laughing a bit and pulling back to wipe his eyes. "You're a good friend."

"What do you say we take this popcorn to the lounge, make some tea, curl up in blankets and watch a movie?" Dan asked with a small smile, and Phil nodded his head. 

"That sounds good." Phil said in a small voice, and since when did Dan's heart feel like it was getting pulled apart at Phil's soft and timid voice? 

Phil went to the lounge as Dan made them tea, and then they were curling up under a blanket and clicking on 'The Lion King', because they were both in the mood for some good old fashioned Disney. 

Twenty minutes into the movie was when Dan felt Phil rest his head on Dan's shoulder.

Thirty five minutes into the movie was when Dan felt Phil's arms snake around his waist and pull him closer. 

Forty eight minutes into the movie was when Phil put his legs over Dan's, pulling tighter against his waist and burying his face in Dan's neck, curling up entirely to his side. 

An hour and seventeen minutes into the movie was when Dan felt Phil's fingers come up to his chin and turn his face to look at Phil. Dan's eyes widened in surprise, but then closed as Phil pressed their lips together gingerly. When he pulled away, Phil was looking up at Dan with wide, questioning eyes.

"Phil?" Dan asked, cursing his voice for coming out in a squeak.

"I... uh..." Phil stammered, pulling his legs and arms back but still pressed against Dan's side. "I was just thinking... um... since the date didn't go well today... uh... maybe we could keep practicing?" Phil mumbled, and Dan hated the weight that dropped in his stomach. That hadn't been real, that was just Phil wanting to learn more from Dan so he was more comfortable with the  _real_ people he dated, and now that he wasn't actively dating Dan's reasoning for stopping was no longer valid. 

A big part of Dan wanted to say no. Knew he  _should_ say no, because it wasn't fair to Phil to do this when Dan knew he had feelings for him, and it was only going to make things harder for Dan.

But Phil's lips just inches away, his smell wafting around Dan whose lips were still tingling from the kiss... it was all too much and Dan knew he couldn't say no. He wasn't strong enough. 

"Of course." he whispered, eyes flicking between Phil's eyes and lips. "Just remember, we go at your pace, you tell me what you need, and stop means stop." Phil nodded and pressed back in for a kiss, and now Dan inhaled deeply through his nose, bringing his hands up to Phil's face as he kissed back.

Yeah, Phil didn't need kissing lessons anymore. He was a star student. He got an A. An A plus. Extra credit right and left. Honors mentions. A full ride to college. In short, Phil was a good kisser, and Dan wanted  _more._

He knew the nature of their agreement, though, and so he would never be the one to move it a step further, that was up to Phil. 

The kiss was fiery and electric and Phil was kissing him deeply, tongues crashing and swirling together, little moans and whimpers being exchanged as lips were bitten and tugged. 

When Phil pulled back, holding a hand on Dan's shoulder to keep him at bay, Dan almost whined from the loss, but looked up at Phil questioningly. 

"Take... uh... could you take your shirt off?" Phil asked, and Dan smiled at the sweetness of his tone. 

"Of course." he responded, tugging his shirt over his head and then helping Phil with his own button down. Once they were both off Phil came crashing back, and now his hands were exploring Dan's body.

"Can I touch you?" Dan asked between kisses and Phil nodded. Dan took this opportunity and ran his hands up and down Phil's chest, along his back, pressing into the soft flesh of his shoulderblades with Dan's fingers and making Phil moan into his mouth, vibrating their lips. Dan brought his fingers back to the front and settled over Phil's nipples. When he heard Phil suck in a quick hiss of a breath he smiled and began circling his thumbs over the nubs, relishing in the shudders it sent through Phil's body. 

"Can I try something?" Dan asked.

"Please." Phil responded and Dan smiled, leaving Phil's mouth to trail down his jaw and neck, over his collarbone and down his chest until Dan lapped his tongue over a nipple and Phil let out a full, loud groan. Dan looked up in surprise, a smirk on his face, and Phil clapped a hand over his eyes. "God, that was embarrassing!" he cringed, and Dan giggled.

"It was actually pretty hot." Phil drew his hand away from his eyes to reveal a raised eyebrows, cheeks flushed red.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about making noises, people usually love that. More good practice." Dan said, and yes maybe he just really liked hearing Phil's noises and was being selfish, but who could blame him? The man was sexy. 

"Okay." Phil whispered, and Dan returned to his nipple, allowing his teeth to brush over it before he clamped down and sucked lightly. 

"OooOOOhhhhhh...." Phil groaned, and Dan smiled into his chest. He used his tongue to make small circles over Phil's nipple as he lightly sucked and bit down. When he came back up to meet Phil's face, the man's eyes were squeezed shut. Dan grinned and went back in for a kiss, using his thumbs to continue circling Phil's nipples. 

The kiss grew and grew, and Dan was feeling a familiar tug in his abdomen, his jeans tightening slightly around his groin, and he wondered if they should stop. 

"Phil..." Dan whispered against Phil's mouth.

"Yeah?" 

"I... don't wanna make this awkward, but if we keep going... uh..." Dan pulled away from Phil for a moment to flick a glance down to his crotch to indicate his meaning. "Maybe we should stop." 

Dan certainly didn't  _want_ to stop, but he was right on the edge and knew it was probably the right decision. 

"We could... um... or there's something I kinda wanna try." Phil said so softly Dan could barely hear it.

"What?" he asked, trying not to let his voice crack in surprise and anticipation. He failed.

"Um... I could... if you want... uh try to touch you." Phil said awkwardly, and Dan's eyes widened. 

"Are you sure?" he asked, and Phil nodded, not meeting his eyes.

"I mean I've never done it to anyone besides myself... it'd probably good to practice that too if I'm really trying to start dating now." Phil explained, and Dan nodded. 

"Okay." he whispered, reaching down and unbuttoning his pants, shoving them down and then pulling them off his ankles. 

"Um..." Phil started, staring down at Dan's boxers, clearly showing off that Dan was at half-mast. Phil snapped his gaze back up at Dan and then closed his eyes as he moved in for a kiss. Dan kissed back, but this one was slower, more tentative. He sucked in a sharp breath when he felt Phil's hand gingerly placed on top of his boxers. Phil didn't move it, just placed it there and lined it up with Dan's cock. Even just this was enough to make Dan have to hold back from bucking up into the touch. 

"Phil..." Dan whispered, trying to keep his thoughts together. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Phil nodded, and Dan gave him a deep, strong kiss. "Okay, do you want me to lead you through it?" Phil nodded again. 

"Alright so what you're doing now is good, but move up and down a bit. you can curl your fingers a bit around the fabric, just imagine it's yourself." Dan explained and Phil began doing so, looking up at Dan for confirmation that what he was doing was good. In response Dan bit his lip, moaning through his teeth as he allowed his hips to move gently up to meet Phil's touch. 

"Phil, you've never gotten a handjob from someone else..." Dan whispered, and Phil nodded again, eyes increasingly wide. "Can I..." 

"If you want." Phil responded, and Dan took the invitation to help Phil work his way out of his jeans. Now they were both in only their boxers, hard and breathless. 

"Can I straddle you?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded again, Dan swinging one leg over to sit atop Phil. They both drew in deep, shaky breaths. 

"Come tell Dan of two weeks ago that this is what was happening now and I think he'd have a heart attack." Dan chuckled, and Phil nodded.

"You're one to talk, I hadn't kissed anyone in sixteen years two weeks ago." Phil returned, and Dan nodded, conceding the victory to Phil in this one. He brought his hand down to Phil's boxers, hovering about two inches above.

"You're sure?" he asked, and Phil gulped underneath him, nodding. Dan pressed his hand down, moving gently, and Phil's cock twitched under his grasp. Dan smiled softly, Phil was so innocent, so untouched he knew that he could make the man unravel in minutes if he wanted. He continued gently palming Phil through his boxers as Phil's own hand came up to touch Dan. 

Dan began moving a bit faster over Phil's boxers and felt how hard the man was getting, his boxers showing a small damp spot where Phil's precum was leaking through. Just that thought was crazy to Dan, that they were doing any of this was crazy to Dan, but he kept going, feeling far too incredible to question if he should really be allowing this. 

When Phil's hips bucked up and he moaned, Dan pressed in to push a kiss to his lips. 

"Do you want to take these off?" he asked softly, and Phil nodded. The boys pulled their boxers off, and now Dan was straddling Phil, entirely naked. 

"Wow." was all Phil said, looking up at Dan and giggling a bit.

"Yeah wow. Is this weird?" He asked, and Phil shrugged.

"Honestly not too much. It's only weird if I think about it too hard." 

"Me too. Is  _that_ weird?"

"Probably." 

They both giggled, and Dan felt his cock bob against his stomach with the shakes the laughter sent through his body. 

"Okay, are you ready?" Dan asked, always wanting to give Phil an out at the last minute, but Phil just leaned forward and kissed Dan, taking his cock in hand and Dan hummed into his mouth. He wrapped his own fingers around Phil and began moving. 

"Alright, just copy what I do, okay?" Dan asked and Phil nodded, moving back in to the kiss. 

Their tongues explored each others mouths as their hands explored their cocks, and they were both slick with precum. 

Dan felt Phil move with Dan's motions, and when Dan stopped at Phil's tip to make small circles, Phil did the same to Dan. When Dan brought down his other hand to lightly squeeze Phil's balls, he did the same to Dan. They were both moaning and bucking their hips slightly into the others' touch, kissing and biting and licking at each other. 

It didn't take Phil long to come, warm sticky liquid erupting over both of their chests. Normally it'd take Dan a bit longer, but something about seeing Phil with his lip between his teeth, eyes scrunched shut, low noises coming from his throat, and knowing that  _Dan_ did that took him over the edge, and now their liquids were mixing, pooling on Phil's chest. 

Dan leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Phil's lips once both their orgasms had settled, and then pulled off him, standing up. 

"Well... uh..." Dan mumbled, giggling a bit.

"So that's something we did." Phil laughed, looking down at his chest and frowning as he giggled. Dan went to the bathroom and returned with two damp washcloths, tossing one at Phil as they cleaned off then re-dressed. 

"So... any tips?" Phil asked with a small smirk, and Dan knew from his expression that he knew he'd done well.

"Not really. I know I said to do what I did and you were amazing, but next time maybe try to just go with what feels right and see how that goes." Dan suggested, wanting to have at least  _something_ to suggest to wipe that smirk off Phil's face. 

He only succeeded in making it grow, however, as Phil grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Next time?" he asked, and Dan blushed.

"I mean... if you want to do that again. I just meant like next time... in general. With anyone." Dan stammered, and Phil chuckled, walking up to Dan and wrapping his hands around Dan's waist, pulling him in for a quick kiss. 

"I do want to do that again sometime. And I have a funny feeling it'll be with you." Phil smiled, and Dan felt warmth rush through him.

He was completely and utterly fucked.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, there will be an epilogue

When Dan woke up with Phil's arms wrapped around his waist, head buried in his shoulder, he almost laughed.

What the hell was he doing? How had he gotten himself into this situation? 

The levity left him quickly, though, as he looked at Phil. His face was soft and open as he lay asleep, and Dan felt a pang of guilt flow through him. This wasn't fair. What he was doing to Phil wasn't fair, at least not now that he knew his feelings weren't completely rooted in friendship. 

Suddenly Dan felt terror rush through him and he slipped out of Phil's grasp, changed quickly into a tee and jeans, and went into the lounge, needing to put space between them.

This was  _Phil._ This wasn't just dangerous because Phil could say he didn't return Dan's feelings, this was dangerous for  _so_ many more reasons. Phil was his best friend, he could lose that. He was his flatmate and business partner, and if Dan allowed his feelings to show and Phil didn't return them things could fall apart. His feelings weren't the only things at stake if Dan allowed this to continue.

He set his mouth in a tight line, coming to a decision. This whole  _thing_ they'd been doing... it stopped today. Phil had learned enough, Dan was confident that no one would be disappointed with him, and anyways it wasn't like Phil would ever want to practice anything  _more_ than what they'd done, right? That was teetering too far, Dan thought. Because any farther would mean sex of some sort, and Dan was fairly certain that that didn't fall under their agreement. Though he hadn't been expecting what happened yesterday, so who was he to know what was in Phil's head?

Dan pulled out his laptop and began working on a script for a new video, determined that today he and Phil were strictly friends and nothing more. 

That resolve nearly crumbled immediately as Phil stumbled into the lounge, rubbing sleep from his eyes under his glasses, hair all tussled from sleep. He was adorable. Dan shook this off immediately and went back to typing as Phil came up and sat close to Dan, leaning his head on Dan's shoulder. Dan tensed, unsure if he wanted to directly tell Phil to stop. But did Phil really need to stop  _this?_ This was just his head on Dan's shoulder... friends did this, right? In the back of his mind Dan knew that he and Phil didn't do this before their 'arrangement', but he didn't want to listen to that voice so he allowed himself to relax, letting Phil use him as a pillow.

"Morning." Phil murmured, and his voice was low and husky and sent a shiver through Dan's body that he knew shouldn't be there.

"Morning." Dan responded tightly, typing mechanically.

"New script?" 

"Yeah, just a story for this one." Dan explained, thrumming his fingers on the keyboard, trying to think of the next piece to talk about.

"Oh, are you telling them all about the time when you were the best friend on the planet and agreed to teach your friend how to be physical with people so he didn't have to feel so insecure?" Phil asked, and he was both teasing but also sincere, thanking Dan through his joke. Curse him. How dare he make Dan feel so guilty that he was about to take this all away, praise him for what he'd done? How dare he? 

Dan's eyes widened and he sucked in a quick breath as Phil leaned in to press a quick kiss to Dan's cheek, smiling. 

Dan couldn't exactly tell him to stop after he'd just thanked Dan so honestly for this and reminded him that he was doing his friend a favor... he couldn't back out right after that... so when Phil's mouth came back, his hand moving Dan's face so their lips connected, Dan didn't pull back.

Just one more time. It'd be fine. Just one more time, and  _then_ Dan would put an end to all this. 

Once his mind was made up Dan began kissing back, realizing this would be his last chance to ever do this with Phil, and deciding to relish in it and get everything he could out of it, taking mental pictures that he could go back to in the future once this was all a distant memory and Phil was dating some successful businessman or actor. 

Dan moaned slightly as Phil moved the laptop off of Dan, swinging a leg over to straddle him and taking his lip between Phil's teeth. When Dan's lip popped back into place, he grinned.

"You've certainly gotten this part down." Dan giggled, and Phil smirked.

"I have a good teacher." He responded, and then his mouth was back, warm, soft, comforting. Dan melted into it, wanting this to last if it was the last time he'd get to be with Phil. The last time he'd get to kiss him. 

Their kiss grew in heat, but slowly, fingers wrapping in hair, digging into sides underneath shirts, running up and down chests and backs. They were relishing in each other's bodies, and Dan felt like if Phil's weight wasn't on top of him he might just float away. 

Dan was the one to move down to Phil's neck this time, biting lightly and placing openmouthed kisses, but not sucking to ensure that he didn't leave any marks. He drew a sharp breath in through his nose as he heard Phil moan as he found a particularly sweet spot by his collarbone, hips bucking up into Dan. 

Dan's eyes widened, but his hips bucked back up involuntarily, and then they were grinding together, hips rolling and shoving and pushing as their mouths found each other again, tongues colliding in wet warmth. 

Dan groaned low in his throat as Phil pressed down particularly hard, and suddenly his jeans were getting painfully tight as he hardened inside them. 

"Dan..." Phil breathed, still moving into Dan, but separating their lips so their sweaty foreheads pressed together, looking at each other's mouths as they spoke, hungrily wanting to continue the kiss, but knowing words needed to be exchanged.

"Should probably stop..." Dan regretfully gasped,  _really_ not wanting to. 

"Dan..." Phil repeated, and Dan looked up to meet his gaze now, Phil's eyes melding into one in the center of his face from their proximity. 

"Want to learn more. Want you to show me more." Phil murmured, and if Dan's jeans were mildly painful before they were  _agonizing_ now. 

"We... should we?" Dan asked, shock reading clearly on his face as he pulled back a little farther, slowing his hip's motions as he tried to gauge if Phil was serious and what he could possibly mean by 'more'."

"Yes... please... if you want that is." Phil groaned, pressing harder into Dan, whining at his retreat. 

"What do you want me to show you?" Dan asked, nervous but also extremely excited for Phil's answer.

It didn't come at first. Phil lunged back at Dan, crashing their lips together and rolling his hips down on Dan, hard, and Dan thought that maybe Phil was just going to show him. He wasn't sure how he felt about not talking about what they were going to do, but he couldn't be too angry when Phil was grinding down onto him and his hips were rutting up to meet him and the friction was so incredible and yet not enough at the same time, and Dan just wanted  _Phil._ He wanted all of him.

Finally Phil pulled away and leaned in, whispering, hot air tickling Dan's ear, and he wasn't sure if it was the movement of the air or what Phil spoke or both that send shudders from his head to toes.

"Everything." Phil whispered, and Dan was done for.

He wanted to clarify. He wanted to ask Phil what he meant. He didn't want, but knew he  _should_ tell Phil no, and put an end to this. But this was his night. This was his last night, and shouldn't he do what Phil wanted? Shouldn't he do what  _he_ wanted? He intended to say something else. He really did, but when his mouth opened, he wasn't in control of the word that breathily left his lips.

"Okay."

Phil went back to kissing him, and then their shirts were off and Dan didn't know how that had happened but he wasn't complaining as their skin collided on the sofa. Dan didn't think he could ever look at this sofa in the same way again after this past week. 

They kissed and kissed and Dan was whimpering at this point from the pain as his cock strained against his constrictive jeans, sighing in pleasure and relief as Phil undid his button and zipped his pants down, backing off of him momentarily to pull Dan's pants down and off his ankles. Phil was on the ground now, on his knees between Dan's spread legs, and when Dan looked down to see him face to face with Dan's cock, only masked by the thin sheet of his boxers, he felt he might come right then and there. 

"Dan..." Phil whispered, and Dan's breath hitched. "I want this. I want you to teach me how to do this." and now Phil was back to being nervous, a blush rushing to his cheek, wringing his hands together as he looked up at Dan with an embarrassed expression.

"Are you sure?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded. "Okay." he agreed, because at this point he didn't think he could say no to Phil even if he'd wanted to tie Dan up and fuck him while wearing a storm trooper outfit. He didn't care, whatever Phil wanted he would give. 

Phil nervously tugged Dan's underwear off, and Dan sprung out, bobbing in the air in front of Phil, whose eyes immediately locked on his red, swollen cock, eyes widening and mouth dropping open a bit. After a few seconds he shook his head slightly and moved his gaze quickly up to meet Dan's, cheeks burning in embarrassment. 

"It's okay. You can look." Dan comforted him, and Phil nodded but still didn't allow his gaze to waver.

"Uh... so how do I..." he began, shuffling nervously. Dan worried for a moment - was Phil really ready for this?

"Phil are you sure you want to do this? You can still say no, we don't have to do anything you don't want to." 

"No! I want to... really, I do. I'm just worried it won't be good for you." Phil admitted shyly, and Dan almost laughed because _anything_ Phil did right now would be incredible.

"Phil, I promise you'll be fine. And remember... it's just me. I'll be patient for you, I'll help you." Phil nodded, sucking in a deep breath to build his confidence. "Just don't bite." Dan added, giggling and Phil slapped his knee, laughing as well.

"Okay so how do I start?" Phil asked, and Dan smiled down at him, wanting to take a mental picture of this moment to treasure forever. 

"Um... some people tease at the start, you can lick around the base or balls or tip before taking me, but it's up to you. Some people go straight for it." Dan explained, and Phil nodded.

"I think I'm just going to go straight for it. Keep it simple for the first time." Phil decided and Dan smiled in response.

"Alright. Whenever you're ready just- OH!" Dan gasped as Phil leaned forward and wrapped his lips tentatively around the head of Dan's cock, brushing his tongue against the underside. It was a gentle touch, but Dan was so sensitive he felt waves of pleasure shooting through him. 

"Okay okay yeah... yeah... just like that. Now you can move up and down, don't worry about going too deep or too fast just now. Just get a sense of it and do what feels right and comfortable." Phil started moving as per Dan's instructions, and he began to realize that explaining this to Phil while he performed may have been a bad idea, because Dan was beginning to feel like he was losing the ability to breathe, much less speak or form coherent thoughts. 

"Yeah, just like that. Just like that. Once you can go faster go ahead, but not unless you... you're comforta.... comfortable!" Dan nearly shouted, trying to get the last word out as Phil began bobbing up and down faster. Dan felt his teeth scrape the sides of Dan's cock a few times but never enough to be painful and he noticed that Phil made adjustments anytime that happened. It was a bit shaky and wobbly but Dan was so turned on it felt incredible.

"You can use one of your hands as an extension of your mouth - grab the base and move with it. You can... can use another at the balls. You don't have to for either, just... just things some people do." Dan gasped as Phil did both these things, and if Phil wasn't the best student anyone could have Dan didn't know who was. 

"So good Phil, so good. Just keep going like... like that. You can stop at the tip to lick at it or go deeper but what... what you're doing now is... is so good, Phil... so good." Dan praised and felt Phil smiling around him, causing him to smile as well. He was already close from all the foreplay and now he knew he was about to explode and brought his hands down to Phil's head for the first time, tapping him gently.

"Phil... Phil... gonna... I'm gonna..." Dan warned and he felt Phil hesitate for a moment, begin to pull off, then seemed to think better of it and continued to bob his head with more vigor and Dan's head fell back, mouth and eyes wide as he came down Phil's throat, trying to keep his hips from bucking too much into Phil, but there was only so much a guy could do.

When Dan finally came down from his high Phil pulled off, licking the tip to remove the last bits of cum. He looked up at Dan, sprawled and spent over him, and grinned nervously.

"Was that alright?" Phil asked meekly from between his legs, and Dan laughed breathily.

"Yes you absolute spoon that was incredible!" Dan chuckled, reaching down to pull Phil up over Dan, kissing him.

"Are you sure you wanna... my mouth was just..." Phil protested, eyes wide, and Dan giggled.

"Yes it was and it was  _hot._ " Dan said, pulling Phil back to him and working his tongue into Phil's mouth, tasting himself on Phil's tongue. 

Phil let out a surprised moan but kissed back and Dan knew he wanted to make Phil finish as well. 

"You want to feel what that's like?" he whispered to Phil, and grinned as Phil nodded eagerly. Dan reached down and helped Phil out of his pants and boxers, discarding them on the floor. They swapped positions, and now Dan was on his knees between a naked Phil, legs spread invitingly for him.

Dan took another mental picture.

"You sure?" Dan asked as he always did, not wanting to do anything Phil wasn't ready for.

"Please!" Phil begged and Dan smiled, holding Phil's cock in one hand but not stroking, then lapping at his base where his balls met the shaft before running his tongue up from the base to the tip, lapping at his slit which was already leaking heavily, then pushing forward to take Phil in his mouth. 

Dan was no stranger to blowjobs, and actually prided himself in thinking he was fairly good at them. He'd never had someone react  _so_ enthusiastically to him before, though.

"OH MY GOD DAN, YES! YES THAT FEELS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT DAN THIS IS AMAZING YOU'RE AMAZING PLEASE DON'T STOP!" Phil cried out and Dan smiled slightly before bottoming out, swallowing Phil down his throat, grateful that his gag reflex was next to non-existent. He felt Phil down his throat and began moving, running his tongue over the underside, playing with Phil's balls in one hand and scratching light lines on his thigh with Dan's other hand. 

"FUCK DAN, YOU'RE INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!" Phil yelped, and Dan couldn't help but find it adorable how innocent all this seemed. None of it seemed to be attempted 'dirty talk', it was just Phil honestly enjoying the moment and feeling the need to articulate it. Dan loved Phil's innocence, and deep down he loved that he got to be the one to show him the ropes and take that innocence away for his own keeping. 

Phil didn't last long. Dan hadn't expected him to. It was only about a minute more before Phil was coming down Dan's throat and gasping out, "SORRY! SORRY SORRY SORRY COULDN'T WARN YOU, OH GOD! HAPPENED SO FAST, OOOOOHHHHHHH!" he apologized through moans, and Dan just pet his sides, hoping that this would get across his forgiveness since his mouth was fairly busy at the moment. 

Once Dan had sucked up all of Phil's orgasm, licking him clean, he pulled off and moved up to Phil's face. "It's okay." he reassured, seeing the fear in Phil's eyes. "Can I kiss you?" Dan asked softly, aware that Phil had been surprised when Dan was willing to kiss him after he'd had his mouth around Dan, and maybe this wasn't something Phil wanted to do.

"Yeah... yeah please." Phil whispered, and Dan smiled as he leaned in, pressing their lips together. 

"You're amazing, Dan." Phil murmured as they pulled away, and Dan smiled and shook his head as he stood up to go put on his boxers.

"No, that's you, Phil. Don't forget your own branding." he chuckled, and Phil threw a sock at him playfully. 

"Lots of firsts for one week." Dan observed once they both were clad in pants, falling back against the couch. 

"Yeah... you're telling me." Phil giggled as he curled into Dan's side, Dan's arms immediately going around him. "I think it's been the best week of my life, though." Phil mumbled a little quieter this time, and Dan couldn't help the warm fuzzy feeling that ran through him. 

He knew he should pull away. He knew he should stop this, but he  _had_ promised himself one more  _day._ It was still before noon, he could still relish in this a bit longer. 

Dan looked down at Phil after coming to this decision and placed a small peck to his mouth, unreasonably happy to see that Phil had been staring up at him with a wondering smile on his face. 

"You're beautiful." Phil marveled as Dan pulled away, and now it was Dan's turn to blush. 

"What?" he asked, and he wasn't sure if it was from surprise or wanting to hear Phil repeat the words. 

"You're beautiful. Everything about you... you're just gorgeous." Phil said, shaking his head in wonder. Then Phil was leaning up but not for Dan's lips, he just simply pressed a kiss to Dan's cheek.

Somehow these cheek kisses sent more electricity through him than anything else, because when they were given in times that weren't heated they just felt so  _intimate_ and no pretense of 'practice' could be justified for those. Dan decided not to bring it up, though, because he didn't want to say anything to ruin this last day. 

They opted for a movie and pizza, calling in an order because they were both far too lazy to cook, then cuddling together on the couch. They stayed this way for hours, making their way through four different movies as they lay on the couch wrapped up in each other's arms, alternating between watching the movie and lazily kissing.

Dan knew something about this was wrong. He knew that Phil no longer needed practice kissing, and therefore what they were doing didn't exactly fall under the rules of their arrangement, so why were they doing this? Why was Phil doing it and why was Dan allowing him to? 

At the end of the fourth movie the sun was beginning to set and Phil reached up the remote to turn off the TV. 

He turned to Dan, and Dan noticed that he was biting his lips, palms sweaty when Dan reached out to grab his hands, eyes flitting around nervously.

"What's wrong, Phil?" Dan asked softly, and Phil shook his head, breathing in deeply.

"Nothing. I mean, I hope. Uh... I just." Phil stammered, and Dan pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back.

"Hey, it's okay. Remember, it's just me. Take deep breaths, just talk to me whenever you're ready." Phil nodded into his shoulder and breathed heavily for a bit before pulling back, his composure slightly regained.

"Dan... I told you I want you to teach me everything." Phil reminded him, and Dan's breath hitched as he realized that maybe... just  _maybe_ Phil wanted to take things even farther than today. Could Dan really stick to his decision of cutting it off tomorrow if that was the case? Yes... yes he had to. Because his feelings were getting too strong and it wasn't fair to Phil and it was only going to get him hurt in the long run if-

"I meant it. I want you to teach me... I want to learn from you. I want you to teach me how to be with someone. In every way." Phil said nervously, biting his lip, and Dan's eyes widened.

"Tonight?" he whispered, and Phil shook his head.

"No... I mean yeah maybe... I mean... that's not what I meant." Phil stumbled over his words, and now Dan was just confused. 

"What did you mean then?" Dan asked, and Phil drew in a shaky breath, taking Dan's hands in his own.

"I want you to teach me how to be with someone. I want to learn how to be with someone Dan... from you. Not just sexually... I want to learn all of it, and I want you to teach me." Phil explained, eyes almost pleading now, but Dan still didn't understand.

"You want me to like... teach you date etiquette?" Dan asked, trying to figure out why Phil was so nervous.

"Dammit Dan..." Phil laughed a little, shaking his head. "I like you. I didn't even try on my date with Sam, because I wanted it to be  _you._ I want you to show me how this all works... by making it real. If that's something you want." Phil said, biting his lip, and finally his meaning hit Dan. 

It hit him like a fucking truck. A truck of pillows and feathers and puppies and chocolates and cotton candy. 

"Wh... what?" Dan asked, even though he knew what Phil meant, he just couldn't quite believe his ears.

"Dan, did something happen? Are you okay?" Phil asked, clearly wondering why Dan couldn't seem to grasp what he was saying, but then Dan was gripping his hands tighter, pulling him close, then stopping about six inches away.

"Are you sure?" Dan asked once more, looking up into Phil's eyes, terrified of what would happen if he said no.

"Absolutely." Phil responded, and Dan couldn't help that this kiss was only a smile, and this time he was the one to awkwardly clash their teeth together, but he didn't care and neither did Phil.


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger warning of non-con mention*

"Are you sure?" Dan asked even though Phil was already three fingers deep inside of him. 

"God yes!" Phil responded, breathing heavily into Dan's mouth.

"I'm ready." Dan gasped and Phil removed his fingers, replacing them with his cock which he lined up quickly, then pressed inside, moaning at the sensation.

"Feels good, doesn't it? Better than anything else we've done." Dan murmured and Phil nodded, eyes squeezed shut. "It's okay, remember it's just me. Take your time, just move when you're ready, okay?" 

Phil began moving moments later and Dan's fingers grasped at the bedsheets, happy they'd finally moved away from the couch. 

"How are you feeling?" Dan asked after a few minutes of steady movement, wanting to make sure his boyfriend was okay. This was the first time he'd had proper sex, after all.

"Fucking amazing, Dan, how do you think I'm feeling?" Phil responded with a laugh, picking up the pace as Dan's legs rocked back and forth on Phil's shoulders with each thrust. "God you're beautiful." he continued, and Dan couldn't believe Phil could make him blush during sex.

"Look who's talking." he responded and Phil moaned, shoving himself even deeper inside of Dan, bitting his lip. 

Phil reached his climax before Dan which was expected, him still being very new to all of this. He shouted out Dan's name then quickly pulled out to suck Dan off before his energy faded completely, swallowing all Dan had to give.

"You're amazing." Dan moaned as Phil came back up to cuddle him, leaning over for a soft kiss.

"You're on fire." Phil said with a wink, and Dan shoved him playfully.

"Overdone joke."

"Overdone YOLK!" Phil grinned, and Dan groaned in mock annoyance.

"God you're the worst after sex." 

"You still love me though, right?" Phil asked, batting his eyelashes, clearly making a joke of a character, but when Dan responded it was with utter sincerity.

"I do."

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?" Dan asked, and he smiled when he saw that Phil couldn't respond through his tears, so Dan took his violent nods as confirmation enough, scooting forward on his one knee to take Phil's hand and slip the engagement ring onto his finger.

 

* * *

 

"Are you sure?" Dan asked as he squeezed Phil's hand, sitting on the edge of Phil's bed facing towards the camera.

"Yeah... yeah it's time to tell them." Phil confirmed, and they hit record.

"Hey guys!" Phil said with his signature wave and grin, and Dan gave his 'Hello Internet' and salute. Both of them used their left hands, and Dan knew that their audience would surely pick up on the engagement bands on their ring fingers. He smiled... they were ready for this.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?" Dan asked softly, wanting this moment to be only for him and Phil so that if Phil still wanted to back out he wouldn't have to feel bad about so many people hearing.

"Dammit Dan, of course I do!" Phil laughed, shoving Dan playfully but accidentally knocking over a vase that shattered all over the stage. He winced and turned to the minister, but Dan was giggling, the back of his hand pressed to his lips.

"Then by the honor invested in me-" The minister began, but Dan already had his arms around Phil's waist, kissing him tenderly, but with all the love in the world.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?" Dan asked as they stared down at the contract.

"Dan... we're gonna have a baby girl." Phil smiled, and Dan bit his lip as he smiled, only releasing it when Phil moved in for a sweet kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?" Dan whispered, tears thick in his voice as he looked at the sobbing man before him.

"Dan... Dan I understand if you want to throw me out. I understand if you want me out of your life I am so  _so_ sorry, I was so drunk and someone switched my drink and I didn't know and..."

"Are. You. Sure?" Dan repeated, clenching his jaw, needing to stand his ground for this.

"Yes Dan of course I love you. He meant absolutely  _nothing_ to me. After our fight yesterday I just wanted to drink and then he was taking me and I thought he was you at first but then he wasn't and I tried to leave I really did but he wouldn't let me, and-" Phil began hiccuping hysterically and Dan finally moved towards him, pulling him into a deep hug.

"It's okay... it's okay... shhh I believe you. I love you too." Dan whispered as he stroked Phil's hair and back, allowing his husband to sob into his shoulder, deciding that tomorrow he would find the best therapist London had to offer because Phil couldn't go through this without help.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?" Dan asked, once again seated before a contract. 

"Yes, Dan. I want our forever home. I want to get a dog for Sarah to play with, have a back yard... know this will be where we live forever."

"Okay." Dan smiled, signing the paperwork for the new home their family would get to really call a 'home', no longer a house.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?" Phil asked through tears, gripping Dan's wrinkled hand as the old man on the bed nodded back at him.

"Yes. I don't want to die from just waiting it out in some nasty hospital. I want to be with you. In our yard with Sarah and the dog. I want to go on a walk and smell the flowers." Dan croaked, and Phil nodded, feeling the tingling behind his eyes as he helped Dan out of bed, grabbing his oxygen tank and putting it on the portable roller, wrapping his arm around his husband's waist and using the other hand to guide the tank.

"I love you." Phil whispered through tears, and he watched as one large tear pooled in Dan's chocolatey brown eye, spilling over to run down the old, weathered skin, dripping off his chin.

"I love you too."

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure, Papa?" Sarah asked, and Phil nodded as they watched the two men dig a hole in their backyard. 

"Yes... yes I'm sure. He always liked to be close to home." Phil responded, pulling his daughter into a hug under his chin so she couldn't see his tears fall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sad ending <3


End file.
